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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014

the graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014
#change #prices #three #metals
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The line graph draws the conclusion
of
Change preposition
from
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 a survey about the value of three types of metals, like copper, nickel and zinc
how
Correct word choice
which
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 varied in the months of 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
, the graph provides information on nickel’s trend was a significant decline. The
nickel’s
Change noun form
nickel
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 line shows that
was
Correct pronoun usage
there was
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 the most cost change between all of
metals
Add an article
the metals
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 in the first month.
However
Linking Words
, from February to June, it seems to decrease sharply to -3% . Before it remained stable in
next
Correct article usage
the next
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 three months, there had risen
on
Change preposition
in
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 June.
At the end
Linking Words
 of 2014, it appears to
reach
Wrong verb form
have reached
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 a plateau after some fluctuation. The copper had a slight fall that year.In the first half of the years, its tendency happened to dip gently.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, in the
last
Linking Words
half
Add a comma
half,
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 it
growth
Replace the word
grew
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 gradually. In spite of these two,the zinc's pattern had a
stead
Correct your spelling
steady
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 surge slope,
although
Linking Words
 the line fluctuated considerably. It reached a peak
to
Change preposition
of
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 3% in
second
Change the article
the second
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 month
whereas
Linking Words
 it
Was falling
Wrong verb form
Fell
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 suddenly in
ninth
Correct article usage
the ninth
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of
Change preposition
apply
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months
Fix the agreement mistake
month
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 until October. After
that
Add a comma
that,
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 it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
skyrocketed to 2%.
Submitted by Hassanihn on

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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average monthly change
  • prices of metals
  • trend
  • spike
  • fluctuation
  • increase
  • decrease
  • sharp rise
  • sharp fall
  • stability
  • volatility
  • data points
  • comparison
  • contrast
  • external factors
  • influences
  • market dynamics
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