nowadays many people choose to be self-employed , rather than to work for a company or oraganisation.why might this be the case? what could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

A group of individuals present the view that
self-employed
Add a missing verb
being self-employed
show examples
is more
nessesary
Correct your spelling
necessary
in
modern
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the modern
show examples
world,
whereas
others believe
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
for a company or organisation is better. In
this
essay
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essay,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will attempt to outline both ideas and provide my perspective. The proponents of
self-employed
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the self-employed
show examples
notion are of the opinion that money earned is more
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
sufficient in
this
case. These days,
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
progressing technology, people's
cosume
Correct word choice
consumption has
show examples
icrease
Correct your spelling
increased
so they need more income to
satisfied
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be satisfied
show examples
. The income is unlimited in
this
case so
individuals
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individuals'
individual's
show examples
concern
Fix the agreement mistake
concerns
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decrease
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decreases
show examples
.
However
, the opponents believe that working as
employee
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an employee
show examples
is more safe and
Correct quantifier usage
more unstressful
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unstressful
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stressful
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.
Staff
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The staff
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knows their salaries
in
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at
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the end of
month
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the month
show examples
and they can manage their money for saving and buying. They think working for
boss
Correct article usage
a boss
show examples
has less responsibility for them I found myself favouring the first concept as I believe that
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
in
company
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a company
show examples
with other
colligues
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colleagues
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
me more active and happier. I am
intereted
Correct your spelling
interested
in doing work together. To
coclude
Correct your spelling
conclude
, Both
idea
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ideas
show examples
is correct and
complettly
Correct your spelling
completely
depends
Correct subject-verb agreement
depend
show examples
on people's
carectore
Correct your spelling
caricature
to choose one of them .
Submitted by maryam_baou on

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structure
Your essay needs clearer organization, with distinct paragraphs for the introduction, main points, and conclusion. It is hard to follow your argument without clear separation and development of ideas. Use topic sentences to introduce your paragraphs and subsequent sentences to develop your points more thoroughly.
examples
The essay's topic sentences and main points need to be supported by specific examples and further explanation. For instance, when discussing the benefits of self-employment, give real-life examples of individuals whose income increased due to self-employment.
task response
The essay attempts to discuss the given topic but falls short in task response as the ideas are not fully developed, and the prompt about the disadvantages of being self-employed is not addressed properly. Make sure to cover both parts of the question in equal measure.
grammar
There are noticeable grammar errors and spelling issues throughout the essay. These detract from the clarity of your message. Please pay attention to subject-verb agreement, correct use of articles, verb tenses, and spelling (e.g., 'consume' instead of 'cosume', 'character' instead of 'carectore'). Proofread your work to avoid these mistakes.
conclusion
A conclusion should summarize the points discussed in the essay and should not introduce new information or perspectives. Work on restating your main points succinctly and clearly in your conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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