nowadays many people choose to be self-employed , rather than to work for a company or oraganisation.why might this be the case? what could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?
A group of individuals present the view that
self-employed
is more Add a missing verb
being self-employed
nessesary
in Correct your spelling
necessary
modern
world, Add an article
the modern
whereas
others believe work
for a company or organisation is better. In Wrong verb form
working
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
i
will attempt to outline both ideas and provide my perspective.
The proponents of Change the capitalization
I
self-employed
notion are of the opinion that money earned is more Add an article
the self-employed
and
sufficient in Correct word choice
apply
this
case. These days, by
progressing technology, people's Change preposition
with
cosume
Correct word choice
consumption has
icrease
so they need more income to Correct your spelling
increased
satisfied
. The income is unlimited in Add a missing verb
be satisfied
this
case so individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
concern
Fix the agreement mistake
concerns
decrease
.
Change the verb form
decreases
However
, the opponents believe that working as employee
is more safe and Add an article
an employee
Correct quantifier usage
more unstressful
unstressful
. Replace the word
stressful
Staff
knows their salaries Add an article
The staff
in
the end of Change the preposition
at
month
and they can manage their money for saving and buying. They think working for Add an article
the month
boss
has less responsibility for them
I found myself favouring the first concept as I believe that Correct article usage
a boss
work
in Wrong verb form
working
company
with other Add an article
a company
colligues
Correct your spelling
colleagues
make
me more active and happier. I am Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
intereted
in doing work together.
To Correct your spelling
interested
coclude
, Both Correct your spelling
conclude
idea
is correct and Change to a plural noun
ideas
complettly
Correct your spelling
completely
depends
on people's Correct subject-verb agreement
depend
carectore
to choose one of them .Correct your spelling
caricature
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structure
Your essay needs clearer organization, with distinct paragraphs for the introduction, main points, and conclusion. It is hard to follow your argument without clear separation and development of ideas. Use topic sentences to introduce your paragraphs and subsequent sentences to develop your points more thoroughly.
examples
The essay's topic sentences and main points need to be supported by specific examples and further explanation. For instance, when discussing the benefits of self-employment, give real-life examples of individuals whose income increased due to self-employment.
task response
The essay attempts to discuss the given topic but falls short in task response as the ideas are not fully developed, and the prompt about the disadvantages of being self-employed is not addressed properly. Make sure to cover both parts of the question in equal measure.
grammar
There are noticeable grammar errors and spelling issues throughout the essay. These detract from the clarity of your message. Please pay attention to subject-verb agreement, correct use of articles, verb tenses, and spelling (e.g., 'consume' instead of 'cosume', 'character' instead of 'carectore'). Proofread your work to avoid these mistakes.
conclusion
A conclusion should summarize the points discussed in the essay and should not introduce new information or perspectives. Work on restating your main points succinctly and clearly in your conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.