You have had a problem with your next door neighbour. You have not been able to speak to your neighbor about this.

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Dear Neighbour, I am your next-door neighbour. I am writing
this
Linking Words
email letter to express my complaint to you. Because you keep several
animal
Change to a plural noun
animals
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in your apartment and your
dog
Use synonyms
always
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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strange sounds. These sounds are very weird, so I can not sleep at night. It is
truth
Replace the word
true
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.
Also
Linking Words
, I have been wanting to talk
Change preposition
to
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you about
this
Linking Words
problem for several days. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
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I can't sleep well . I could not talk with you as I don't have time ,now I am preparing for
important
Add an article
an important
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exam, so I
decided
Add the particle
decided to
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send to you
this
Linking Words
email . I would like to some
advise
Replace the word
advice
show examples
for solving
this
Linking Words
issue. First of all, you should not keep that
dog
Use synonyms
in your house. As healthy
this
Linking Words
dog
Use synonyms
does not make that kind of horrible
voices
Fix the agreement mistake
voice
show examples
. I think, your
dog
Use synonyms
is sick or rabid.
Second,
Linking Words
I can not sleep well at night
this
Linking Words
reason is
your
Correct pronoun usage
my
show examples
dog
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I request you to solve
this
Linking Words
problem. I look forward you will follow my advice and solve the problem.
Your
Correct the word
Yours
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sincerely, Marjona .
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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Introduction/Cohesion
The essay should begin with a proper introduction that clearly presents the problem you're experiencing. A polite greeting and a small introduction to establish context could make the letter more coherent and respectful.
Main Points/Task Achievement
Although the main issue is presented, the points discussed are not well-developed or adequately supported with explanations or solutions. Consider expanding on why the problem is affecting you and possibly suggest realistic and detailed solutions.
Conclusion/Task Achievement
The essay lacks a conclusion that summarizes your concerns and hopes for resolution. Adding a concluding paragraph that requests a response or suggests a meeting for discussion would enhance the cohesion and task achievement of the essay.
Logical Structure
The logical flow of ideas is a bit disjointed. Make sure to organize your points logically, using transitional phrases to guide the reader from one idea to the next.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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