the graph below shows average carbon dioxide emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Swedan, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007.

the graph below shows average carbon dioxide emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Swedan, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007.
The line graph illustrates how much carbon dioxide emission was produced per person (in metric
tonnes
) between 1967 and 2007 in the United Kingdom,
Sweden
, Italy and Portugal.
Overall
, it is readily apparent the British emitted the highest volume of CO2 through a given
period
.
Furthermore
, even in the first
period
Portugal the least emitted. In the end, the country closed the gap with
Sweden
which had the second position early. In the first
period
, Italy was in third place.
However
, Italy managed to outrace
Sweden
from third to second place.
Firstly
, British approximately 11
tonnes
However
, around 1987 to 2007 British experienced a slight decrease to 9
tonnes
.
Sweden
was in second place from 1967 to 1977.
Moreover
,
Sweden
increased by 3
tonnes
, suddenly
Sweden
declined sharply to 7 and
finally
5
tonnes
in 2007.
In addition
, Portugal had the lowest number of
tonnes
at the beginning of the
period
, approximately only 1,8
tonnes
. In spite of that, Portugal started to rise smoothly and reached a peak at 4
tonnes
in 2017.Italy was levelled off with Portugal, which had 7
tonnes
in 2017.
Submitted by hai on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words tonnes, sweden, period with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.

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