Some people argue that space explonation has had more to do with national pride than international effort. To what extent to you agree with this? How do you think space explonation will change in the future?

Have you ever thought you
can
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could
show examples
live
in
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on
show examples
another
planet
? That's why some nations around the world
incline
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are inclined
show examples
toward making more and more
space
exploration,
while
a group of people believe
this
trend is just a pride
not
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, not
show examples
more. During
18th
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the 18th
show examples
centeries
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centuries
cemeteries
less
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fewer
show examples
countries had access to facilities for exploring
space
, and when they
acheieved
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achieved
achieve
something new, for sure
this
success
considered
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was considered
show examples
pride. But
in
contrast
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contrast,
show examples
nowadays, companies are trying to fetch more information about the outer atmosphere, because they are curious.
This
sense of
curiousity
Correct your spelling
curiosity
is about the question
where
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of where
show examples
we are
comming
Correct your spelling
coming
Change preposition
from?
show examples
?
Change the punctuation
.
show examples
For instance
, Elon Musk invests
on
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in
show examples
various
space
projects and he claims that they
would
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will
show examples
gain adequate knowledge about human
being
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beings
show examples
as soon as possible.
Additionally
, these kinds of projects and investments
about
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in
show examples
the galaxy will be extended in the future. We all know that our
planet
is in danger of extinction and
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
the Earth will not be a suitable place for humans to live.
Therefore
, scientists have been
comming
Correct your spelling
coming
with
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up with
show examples
new ideas and methods to provide ways
for finding
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to find
show examples
a new
planet
to preserve
our
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the
show examples
next generations.
For instance
,
Hubbel
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the Hubbel
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telescope
sended
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sent
show examples
to
the
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apply
show examples
space
for discovering
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to discover
show examples
a new
planet
to live
.
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on.
show examples
In conclusion, we cannot deny
used to
Verb problem
that
show examples
governments just invest
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in
show examples
on
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in
show examples
space
exploration projects to make proud of themselves
, but
Correct word choice
proud, but
show examples
in the
last
decades
this
inclination has changed and
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
show examples
scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
show examples
are answering questions like where
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
human's
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humans
show examples
Replace the word
rooted
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root
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rooted
show examples
, and where we can live
instead
of
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apply
show examples
the
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apply
show examples
Mother Earth?
Submitted by afrough on

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task achievement
Your essay shows an attempt to address the prompt, but the ideas need further development. The argument that space exploration has shifted from national pride to scientific curiosity is a good start, but more evidence and deeper analysis would strengthen this argument. Additionally, ensure you cover all parts of the prompt thoroughly.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a structure, but the logical flow could be improved. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to introduce the main idea. Employ cohesive devices effectively to link ideas and arguments throughout the essay.

Your opinion

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