SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT IT IS BETTER TO EDUCATE BOYS AND GIRLS IN SEPARATE SCHOOLS. OTHERS, HOWEVER, BELIEVE THAT BOYS AND GIRLS BENEFIT MORE FROM ATTENDING MIX SCHOOLS. DISCUSS BOTH THESE VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION.

#people #boys #girls #schools #benefit #mix

Some argue that it is beneficial

children

Change preposition

for children

show examples

attend

Fix the infinitive

to attend

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

unisexual

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

others

Correct word choice

while others

show examples

say that it is better

girls

Change preposition

for girls

show examples

and

boys

study

Fix the infinitive

to study

show examples

together. I believe that studying in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

mixed

schools

is more

advantagous

Correct your spelling

advantageous

because children become more compromising and compassionate towards

others

. On the one hand, sending students to the separate

schools

may have some advantages. Some parents send their children to these

schools

to improve their certain skills or to pursue some

acheivements

Correct your spelling

achievements

that can help

their

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

later

life

Change preposition

in life

show examples

Therefore

, choosing these

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

show examples

them more focused and attentive on their subjects,

consequently

Add a comma

consequently,

show examples

they will achieve higher scores that are required to choose their future careers. If the

boys

study with the girls, some say it would be

distructful

Correct your spelling

distrustful

for the

boys

For example

, when they grow, they start

interesting

Replace the word

interested

show examples

in each other. Because of that, they

become

Verb problem

tend

show examples

to spend more time

to attract

Change the verb form

attracting

show examples

others

' attention

instead

of focusing

their

Change preposition

on their

show examples

study. On the

another

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

hand, attending

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a mixed school would be

also

beneficial because they can learn

each

Change preposition

about each

show examples

others'

Change noun form

other's

show examples

distinquished

Correct your spelling

different

characters, having

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

more diverse and broad views of

others

which may help them

Add a missing verb

be more

show examples

socially active in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society.

Furthermore

, if the

boys

do not have

intractions

Correct your spelling

interactions

interaction

with the girls, there would be a lot of misunderstandings among them in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

adulthood life.

For example

, it is

Change the article

apply

show examples

evident that a man who grew up with many sisters is more likely to be softer toward the ladies.

Similarly

, the

boys

who studied or played with other female students

tend

Add the particle

tend to

show examples

have

Correct article usage

the

show examples

same pattern as mentioned above.

Because of

Change preposition

For

show examples

this

reason,

Change the capitalization

show examples

would say that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

mixed

schools

are more practical than

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

separate ones. In conclusion,

although

schools

for only one gender help students to

Add a missing verb

be more

show examples

focused, I would prefer

one's

Change noun form

ones

show examples

who

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

allow all gender.

Submitted by agiiotgon1 on Thu Feb 08 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Ensure that you present a clear position throughout the response. Your opinion should be clear and consistent from the introduction through to the conclusion.

task response

Expand and support your main points with specific examples. This will help to fully develop your arguments and make them more convincing.

coherence and cohesion

Improve coherence by organizing your paragraphs clearer. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea, and you should use appropriate linking words to connect your ideas.

coherence and cohesion

Work on using a range of sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance the quality of your writing. This will make your essay more engaging and easier to read.

coherence and cohesion

Watch out for grammatical errors and work on sentence construction to prevent miscommunication.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS writing?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
41Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

299 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
More and more people are moving from the countrysie to the city. What are some of the problems this can cause? What solutions can you suggest?
These days, people migration from the village to the metropolitan places are increased rapidly. Due to city has better amenities and more employment opportunities. However, there are some feasible measurements that can diminish this phenomenon. This essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons.
5
band
Some people believe that music should be taught in schools, while others think that it is best to focus on computer and science. Discuss both views and your opinion.
Children are basically fun loving, agile and caring. They learn while they play. It is generally argued that apart from studying subjects, children should be also given some information about leisure activity like art and music. In contrast, other think that subjects like Science and Computer should be focused more. This essay will sheds light on both perspectives and will end up with my personal opinion.
5
band
Millions of people every year move to English-speaking countries such as Australia, Britain or America, in order to study at school, college or university. Why do so many people want to study in English? Why is English such an important international language? Give reasons.
For the past few years, English-speaking land had illustrated their dominance in the education sector thereby attracting international students. Despite the intercontinental prominence attained by the English accent, migration to the western region is gaining popularity nowadays owing to the desire to lead a healthier lifestyle, as well as, to gain better exposure to career opportunities. This essay analyses the global significance of the English dialect along with the reasonable reasons behind this phenomenon.
6
band
You had borrowed a book from the public library however, when You reached home, you found that some important pages were torn away. Write a letter to the librarian explaining the situation. You should - Mention the book - Mention the pages - Suggest what can be done.
I am borrowing books from the public library weekly, but I think I am really unfortunate this time. I noticed the book isn't in great condition as some important pages are torn away by previous borrowers.
5
band
Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals; during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
The actual meaning of festivals in terms of either culture or religion is getting lost these days because indigenous people sharing same holidays are becoming self-centric who are focused on own pursuit of happiness. With the change in the trend, I perceive the same opinion as the statement since individual satisfaction navigates a person's future.

SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT IT IS BETTER TO EDUCATE BOYS AND GIRLS IN SEPARATE SCHOOLS. OTHERS, HOWEVER, BELIEVE THAT BOYS AND GIRLS BENEFIT MORE FROM ATTENDING MIX SCHOOLS. DISCUSS BOTH THESE VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION.

Include an introduction and conclusion

More and more people are moving from the countrysie to the city. What are some of the problems this can cause? What solutions can you suggest?

Some people believe that music should be taught in schools, while others think that it is best to focus on computer and science. Discuss both views and your opinion.

Millions of people every year move to English-speaking countries such as Australia, Britain or America, in order to study at school, college or university. Why do so many people want to study in English? Why is English such an important international language? Give reasons.

You had borrowed a book from the public library however, when You reached home, you found that some important pages were torn away. Write a letter to the librarian explaining the situation. You should - Mention the book - Mention the pages - Suggest what can be done.