SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT IT IS BETTER TO EDUCATE BOYS AND GIRLS IN SEPARATE SCHOOLS. OTHERS, HOWEVER, BELIEVE THAT BOYS AND GIRLS BENEFIT MORE FROM ATTENDING MIX SCHOOLS. DISCUSS BOTH THESE VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION.

Some argue that it is beneficial
children
Change preposition
for children
show examples
attend
Fix the infinitive
to attend
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unisexual
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
,
others
Correct word choice
while others
show examples
say that it is better
girls
Change preposition
for girls
show examples
and
boys
study
Fix the infinitive
to study
show examples
together. I believe that studying in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mixed
schools
is more
advantagous
Correct your spelling
advantageous
because children become more compromising and compassionate towards
others
. On the one hand, sending students to the separate
schools
may have some advantages. Some parents send their children to these
schools
to improve their certain skills or to pursue some
acheivements
Correct your spelling
achievements
that can help
their
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
later
life
Change preposition
in life
show examples
.
Therefore
, choosing these
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
them more focused and attentive on their subjects,
consequently
Add a comma
consequently,
show examples
they will achieve higher scores that are required to choose their future careers. If the
boys
study with the girls, some say it would be
distructful
Correct your spelling
distrustful
for the
boys
.
For example
, when they grow, they start
interesting
Replace the word
interested
show examples
in each other. Because of that, they
become
Verb problem
tend
show examples
to spend more time
to attract
Change the verb form
attracting
show examples
others
' attention
instead
of focusing
their
Change preposition
on their
show examples
study. On the
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
hand, attending
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a mixed school would be
also
beneficial because they can learn
each
Change preposition
about each
show examples
others'
Change noun form
other's
show examples
distinquished
Correct your spelling
different
characters, having
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
more diverse and broad views of
others
which may help them
more
Add a missing verb
be more
show examples
socially active in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Furthermore
, if the
boys
do not have
intractions
Correct your spelling
interactions
interaction
with the girls, there would be a lot of misunderstandings among them in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adulthood life.
For example
, it is
an
Change the article
apply
show examples
evident that a man who grew up with many sisters is more likely to be softer toward the ladies.
Similarly
, the
boys
who studied or played with other female students
tend
Add the particle
tend to
show examples
have
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
same pattern as mentioned above.
Because of
Change preposition
For
show examples
this
reason,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
would say that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mixed
schools
are more practical than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
separate ones. In conclusion,
although
schools
for only one gender help students to
more
Add a missing verb
be more
show examples
focused, I would prefer
one's
Change noun form
ones
show examples
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
allow all gender.
Submitted by agiiotgon1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that you present a clear position throughout the response. Your opinion should be clear and consistent from the introduction through to the conclusion.
task response
Expand and support your main points with specific examples. This will help to fully develop your arguments and make them more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Improve coherence by organizing your paragraphs clearer. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea, and you should use appropriate linking words to connect your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Work on using a range of sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance the quality of your writing. This will make your essay more engaging and easier to read.
coherence and cohesion
Watch out for grammatical errors and work on sentence construction to prevent miscommunication.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!