Many people aim to achieve balance between work and life, but only a few people achieve it. What problems will be caused by poor work-life balance? How can its negative impacts be prevented?
Individuals dream about being well organized and finding the golden mean between
work
and personal life
. In this
essay, I describe a couple of consequences and some solutions to being a more balanced person.
It is not secret
majority Correct article usage
a secret
today
people are very busy, Change preposition
of today
however
, it does not mean they spend their time
effectively. Good rest from work
and using effective work
time
to achieve our own goals it
is important to us. An unbalanced Correct pronoun usage
apply
life
can lead to an unhappy life
and, lacka
lack of Correct your spelling
a
time
for family even for oneself. For example
, young adults put a lot of afford into reaching some career goals in their life
, so they can spend all their time
working without any breaks. Following
this
, after some time
they understand that not only work
plays a crucial role in our life
.
Lack of time
,
is one of Remove the comma
apply
consequences
which can lead Add an article
the consequences
unorganaized
lifestyle. Having Correct your spelling
unorganised
not
free Correct your spelling
no
time
for health, time
for sport and self improvement
. Afterwards, people spend all their energy working and feel disappointment and anxiety. Add a hyphen
self-improvement
Following
this
lost interest in working and felt passion for life
.
We have only 24 hours each day, that is
why we should calculate and organize our daily life
. One day plan should be to have time
for work
and for myself, my family and my health. For example
, many wise people write their plans for week and month. In this
case
our brain will try minimum energy to do it, Add a comma
case,
however
, after some time
, our life
becomes more interesting. An organized life
means a happy life
.
To sum up
, happiness consists of a lot of parts from work
to personal life
, so we are not able to be happy person without one of themSubmitted by kazbek.baimukhambetov on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear structure, including an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a main idea and sentences that support that idea.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices (linking words) appropriately to help connect ideas and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Address all parts of the task by discussing both the problems caused by poor work-life balance and the solutions to these problems.
Task Achievement
Develop your main points more fully with explanations, examples, and details to demonstrate clear understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Check for grammar mistakes and ensure proper sentence structure for better clarity and accuracy.
Task Achievement
Expand on your examples by providing specific instances or explaining how these solutions can be implemented practically.
Task Achievement
Avoid overly general statements and strive for depth in analysis rather than breadth. It's better to explore a few points in great detail than to mention many with little explanation.
Task Achievement
Balance the amount of content dedicated to problems and solutions to ensure a comprehensive discussion of the topic.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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