In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
In many nations around the globe, rural individuals are shifting to city areas,
as
a Correct word choice
and as
result
Add the comma(s)
result,
population
in the countruside
is reducing. In my opinion, it leads Correct your spelling
countryside
less
educational Correct word choice
to fewer
resorces
for Correct your spelling
resources
village
children and less modern facilities to
the countrymen , Change preposition
for
therefore
, this
writer wholeheartedly believes rural people
migration toChange noun form
people's
cites as
a negative development.
To commence with, Correct your spelling
cities is
population
shrinkage leads to a reduction in educational resorceses
Correct your spelling
resources
to
the affected areas. In any country governors allocate educational Change preposition
in
resorces
Correct your spelling
resources
according to
the amount of student
in Fix the agreement mistake
students
a
area, Change the article
an
therefore
these rural schools
will get less support from the government and teachers are also
not motivated to be in these places
due to
less
popularity of these Correct word choice
the low
schools
. For example
, in sri
Change the capitalization
Sri
lanka
most of the students are shifting to city Add a comma
lanka,
schools
and teachers are not like to teach in those schools
due to
less availability of resorces
and less popularity , Correct your spelling
resources
and
Correct word choice
apply
that
leads to Correct pronoun usage
which
shutting
down of these rural Correct article usage
the shutting
schools
, and according to
sri
lankan educational ministry 2023 report ,they have Change the capitalization
Sri
permenantly
closed 10 Correct your spelling
permanently
village
schools
due to
the above reason. Thus
population
migration affects the education of village
children greatly.
Other than that, less population
will keep the countrymen away from modern societies. When their
Replace the word
there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
less
customers companies will never invest Change the quantifier
fewer
on
shops in those areas, and modern development will not come to those Change preposition
in
places
. For instance
,supermarkets , large scale cloth companies and even some places
petrol stations will not come to these places
. In particularly
, supermarket like Keels in Sri Lanka will not spread their Change the word
particular
outlats
if the Correct your spelling
outlets
population
of that area is less than 100000 . Hence
, these people
will suffer from the less resorces
.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
resources
shifting
of Correct article usage
the shifting
people
from villlages
to cities affects Correct your spelling
villages
education
of Add an article
the education
village
children and those villagers not
Add a missing verb
are not
embarck
Correct your spelling
embarrassed
to
Change preposition
of
moden
facilities and they will lead to Correct your spelling
modern
a
isolated life. Change the article
an
such
as , this
writer is in strong
notion that migration of rural Add an article
the strong
people
to city
Add an article
the city
as
a negative development.Correct your spelling
is
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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear and logical structure by organizing your ideas into distinct paragraphs, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each main point, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should start with a topic sentence that introduces the main idea of that paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by using a range of cohesive devices effectively, without over-reliance on any particular phrase. This includes using linking words to show contrast, cause and effect, and to add new information, as well as pronouns to maintain consistency.
task achievement
Fully address the task by ensuring your essay answers all parts of the question comprehensively, including whether you think the development is positive or negative, and explaining your reasons clearly.
task achievement
Enhance clarity by focusing on explaining your ideas and examples comprehensively. Ensure each body paragraph elaborates on a single main idea, supported by relevant examples or arguments.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your arguments, and make sure these examples are related closely to the point being made. It's also beneficial to explain why these examples are relevant and how they support your argument.