Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is
increasing
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the increasing
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amount of
time
children spend on smartphones. It is undeniable that using
phones
has become an essential part of our
life
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lives
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.
However
, there is no absolute agreement as some people find
usage
beneficial,
while
others consider everything associated with
internet
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the internet
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and AI
negatively
Change the word
negative
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. Surely, there are both pros and cons to using
phones
, but I believe the advantages outweigh
disadvantages
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the disadvantages
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. One of the main benefits of spending
time
on
phones
is that children can use
it
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them
show examples
for educational purposes. There are many apps
availabel
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available
that facilitate learning something new, and tutorials on platforms like YouTube can be valuable if a particular concept is not clear. Another advantage is that youth can develop
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apply
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their
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apply
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selfexpression
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self-expression
self expression
. Most people use
phone
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phones
show examples
in the field of blogging , in which they can improve their creative skills,
although
earn money through hard work.
Furthermore
,
become
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by becoming
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a blogger, they may overcome shyness,
also
, will be more open, a
crusial
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crucial
ability in society. In
additional
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addition
show examples
, like most adolescents, I learn foreign languages through apps and websites. Turning to the other side of the argument, excessive Internet can lead to negative
issue
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issues
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such
as addiction to
phone
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phones
show examples
, which is
the
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a
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major problem among teenagers. Overusing
phones
can result in isolation from real life.
Moreover
, individuals may lose the ability to communicate effectively.
Therefore
, the solution to
this
problem is for parents to balance their child's smartphone
usage
. Having weighed everything mentioned
up
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apply
show examples
, we can come to
a
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the
show examples
conclusion that spending
time
on a smartphone must be balanced, as overuse can lead to visual impairment. If you are addicted to
our
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your
show examples
phone
, you can download an app, that tracks your
usage
time
. In my point of view,
this
solution is very useful. By monitoring and controlling
phone
usage
, individuals can maintain a healthy balance between the benefits and drawbacks of smartphone technology.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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task response
Ensure a clear thesis statement is present in the introduction to directly answer the essay question and guide the reader. Your introduction lacks a clear statement on whether you view the development as positive or negative.
coherence and cohesion
Improve paragraph structure by starting each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea, followed by explanation, example, and a concluding sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay. While you have a basic structure, the use of advanced cohesive devices can enhance the logical progression of your ideas.
task response
Develop your arguments with more specific examples. While you mention the use of educational apps and blogging, providing concrete instances or statistics can strengthen your points.
task response
Pay attention to your spelling, punctuation, and grammar. Proofreading your work can help eliminate minor errors that detract from the overall quality of your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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