IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

9.Marriages are bigger and more expensive nowadays than in the past. Why is this the case? Is it a positive or negative development?

#marriages #case #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, young
couples
Use synonyms
 spend more money on
weddings
Use synonyms
 than previously. I believe there are some different reasons for
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon. First and foremost, young
couples
Use synonyms
 prefer to enjoy the moment
life
Change preposition
of life
show examples
 and do not want to worry about the future life, so they are willing to pay huge money
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their wedding.
Secondly
Linking Words
, with the popularity of the Internet,
people
Use synonyms
 often share their
wedding
Fix the agreement mistake
weddings
show examples
 on the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
. Other new
couples
Use synonyms
 can search and copy others’ marriages.
For instance
Linking Words
,
Princess
Change preposition
at Princess
show examples
 Diana's wedding, various
people
Use synonyms
 copy their
Use synonyms
weddings
Change the noun form
wedding
show examples
 decorations and ideas.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are many wedding companies or wedding photography companies. They are keen on marketing how to decorate an unforgettable and unique wedding.
People
Use synonyms
 who are about to get married, are their target customers, and they
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
often
recommended
Wrong verb form
recommend
show examples
 wonderful wedding
plan
Fix the agreement mistake
plans
show examples
.
The
Correct article usage
Last
show examples
last
Linking Words
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
but not least, modern individuals prefer to organize travelling
weddings
Use synonyms
, particularly, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
companies have
long time
Correct your spelling
long-term
show examples
 marriage
vacation
Fix the agreement mistake
vacations
show examples
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 do not want to waste
this
Linking Words
 good chance to enjoy their special time.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they do not care
money
Change preposition
about money
show examples
whether
Correct word choice
or whether
show examples
 they can
afford
Correct pronoun usage
afford it
show examples
. To be honest, a luxurious wedding has positive effects indeed.
For example
Linking Words
, Princess Diana’s wedding dress was copied by a huge number of
people
Use synonyms
. Her wedding design affects fashion
trend
Fix the agreement mistake
trends
show examples
 and
attract
Change the verb form
attracts
show examples
 visitors to travel to
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, we can not deny that there are some negative aspects,
such
Linking Words
 as environmental pollution by these wedding plastic decorations, wasting food,
traffic
Correct word choice
and traffic
show examples
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
 because of lots of wedding cars. In conclusion, a wedding is a special activity for most new
couples
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
weddings
Use synonyms
become
Verb problem
have
show examples
 positive effects, We can not ignore those negative parts of human beings and the environment.
Submitted by sales on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that your response directly addresses the prompt's questions fully. You have touched on the reasons for more expensive weddings but could have delved deeper into why this is the case with more substantial evidence and examples. As for whether it is a positive or negative development, please provide more balanced arguments, demonstrating insights into both sides before reaching a well-supported conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, aim to organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each with a central idea. Use topic sentences effectively at the beginning of paragraphs and include cohesive devices (linking words and phrases) to connect ideas smoothly. Avoid repetition and ensure that transitions between your arguments are smooth to guide the reader through your points logically.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: