You have just started a course which has no spots club . introduce yourself .say why you are interested in this sports club .ask some questions about the club e.g facilities, members, costs

#course #spots #club #sports #questions #e #g #facilities #members #costs

Sir or Madam, I am writing to request your help following my circumstances. I have been studying

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university

Add an article

the university

a university

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which is unable to supply

sport

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sports

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clubs and other facilities. My name is Nurbek.I will get my diploma

following

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apply

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this

year.At

this

time I want to

enroll

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enrol

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your

sport

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sports

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club

for

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keep

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keeping

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fit.And I want you to know I was

professional

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a professional

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football player when I was

teenager

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a teenager

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However

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However,

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right now I used to play football

due to

my leg injury.

This

will not

make

Verb problem

cause

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any unforeseen problems which is related to my health. Your

sport

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sports

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center

encourage

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encourages

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me to play football again.I am sure I will be

successful

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a successful

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player in your club. My request is that I want to register

your

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for your

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foodball

Correct your spelling

football

and

also

gym

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the gym

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course. If there will be any study problems

about delaying

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with delay

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.I would be grateful if you could postpone my enrollment

untill

Correct your spelling

until

I finish my studies and

also

my degree. Thank you in advance for your course.

And after

Correct word choice

After

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I solve

study

Correct pronoun usage

my study

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problems I hope you to add me

your

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to your

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professional group soon. Yours faithfully. Nurbek

Submitted by omondavlat91 on Thu Feb 08 2024

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task achievement

To improve task response, ensure that all parts of the prompt are addressed. Introduce yourself briefly, clearly state your interest in the sports club, and ask specific questions about the club's facilities, members, costs, etc. You've given some background and stated your interest, but the questions part is missing. Be sure to directly inquire with pointed questions that are pertinent to the club.

coherence cohesion

For a more logical structure, organize your writing into clear paragraphs with distinct purposes: introduction, expressing interest, and queries about the club. Use connectors and transition words to enhance the flow of your letter.

task achievement

It is important to maintain a consistent and formal tone throughout the letter. Familiarize yourself with formal letter-writing conventions, such as the use of polite language and a more formal greeting and closing. Avoid using colloquial language.

coherence cohesion

Each paragraph should focus on one main idea. The introduction should be about yourself, the next about your interest in the sports club, and another should contain your questions regarding the club. Ensure that each idea is fully developed before moving on to the next.

coherence cohesion

Greeting and closing phrases are crucial when writing formal letters. While 'Sir or Madam' is appropriate, the closing can be improved with a more conventional phrase such as 'I look forward to your response' or 'Sincerely,' followed by your full name.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

177 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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You have just started a course which has no spots club . introduce yourself .say why you are interested in this sports club .ask some questions about the club e.g facilities, members, costs

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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Some people think that the best way to succeed is to get a university education, while others disagree and say that it is no longer true nowadays. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

What are the main reasons of the sexual discrimination in the world? How we can overcome such a disaster?

Compare the advantages and disadvantages of three of the following as media for communicating information. State which you consider to be the most effective. •comics •books •radio •television •film •theatre