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Band 3

The only way to improve safety of our roads is to give much stricter punishments on driving offences. To what extent do you agree with this idea? Answer

#safety #roads #punishments #offences #idea
I certainly agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the idea of having much stricter punishments
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 driving violations because it can scare
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people to the point that they need to be careful on the
road
. It
is
Verb problem
would
show examples
also
 a better idea if they could go to seminars first before
having
Verb problem
getting
show examples
 a valid driver's license.
Firstly
, there should
also
 be a level of
intense
Replace the word
intensity
show examples
 depending on the
offences
. It is not right to give people so
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
 punishments when the mistake they made on the
road
 was just minimal. Minor
offences
 should just be given a warning or a written warning.
Secondly
, I think that
road
 signs should be more visible on the
road
. Drivers are prone to accidents mostly at night. They won't
make
Verb problem
commit
show examples
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
offences
 if the
road
 signs are clear.
In addition
 to that, roads should be safe to drive on.
Lastly
, there should be enough cameras on the
road
, mostly on stoplights and highways, to make sure that every incident is recorded and will be addressed
accordingly
.
Moreover
, drivers should
also
 be required to have dashcams to prove themselves honest.
Therefore
, I conclude that giving stricter punishments
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 driving
offences
 is a way to improve
road
 safety and not only that but by going through proper decorum.
Submitted by alma_milly on

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction provides a clear standpoint in response to the prompt, and outline the main arguments you will discuss. Use a thesis statement for clarity.
task achievement
Develop each of your main points more thoroughly with specific examples and explanations to reinforce your argument and maintain task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating clearer logical connections between your ideas. Aim to have a more cohesive structure by organizing your essay into well-defined paragraphs, each with a clear topic sentence.
task achievement
In your conclusion, restate your stance and summarize your main points to provide a clear resolution to the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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