Many criminals commit further crime as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What possible solutions can you suggest?

It is often said that criminals didn’t stop to break the law
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
after they
released
Add a missing verb
were released
show examples
from prison to their world of crime.
To begin
,
same
Correct your spelling
some
show examples
of
the
Correct your spelling
some
show examples
criminals have healthy
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
their
brain
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
show examples
for instance
they are born with psychopathy problems. So that they will never be able to fully control themselves to not break the law like
reasonable
Add an article
the reasonable
a reasonable
show examples
person is able to do it. By the
way
Add a comma
way,
show examples
the
crimes
Replace the word
criminals
show examples
who are
psychological
Change the word
psychologically
show examples
ill will forever be
outlaw
Wrong verb form
outlawed
show examples
. Meanwhile, criminals who have to offence a cause of their position are different
cause
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causes
show examples
.
For example
, a newly released man who is homeless, if he can’t afford to eat food,
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will steal something to
continues
Wrong verb form
continue
show examples
his life.
Thus
, there are many causes to
this
question as
why
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to why
show examples
freshly released convicts keep to crime.
However
,
this
problem may be addressed with a few suggestions.
First,
the prison facilities should
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
introduce
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
education
program
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programs
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to
rehabilitating
Wrong verb form
rehabilitate
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
convicts after release, especially with commits who have
psychology
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psychological
show examples
problem
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problems
show examples
at the end
of that program rehabilitating
school
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schools
show examples
give
certificate
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certificates
show examples
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to
ready
Add a missing verb
be ready
show examples
to work in any community.
Second,
the government
don’t
Verb problem
is not
show examples
afraid of spending money to support
Change preposition
apply
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
released commits to join normal communities,
applying
Add the preposition
applying for
show examples
jobs and move
Change preposition
to new
show examples
new
Change preposition
to new
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
to start their new
Replace the word
lives
show examples
live
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lives
show examples
insist
Change preposition
on
show examples
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
laughing at them because of their criminal history they did. In conclusion, offenders may have plenty
reason
Change preposition
of reason
show examples
to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
act criminally after release but if the government
support
Correct subject-verb agreement
supports
show examples
rehabilitating centers,
then
it s
Correct your spelling
it's
possible to help them
to came
Verb problem
come
show examples
back into society.
Submitted by ilyosov2003 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure of your essay, ensure that your ideas are organized in a clear and logical manner. Each paragraph should contain one main idea and be expanded with supporting details, examples, or explanations.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion need to be more distinct and clear. The introduction should outline the causes and solutions that will be discussed, while the conclusion should summarize the main points and restate your overall view on the issue.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples and explanations. Whenever you mention a cause or a solution, illustrate it with an example or expand on it to show the examiner that you have a deep understanding of the topic.
task achievement
To fulfill the task achievement criteria, make sure you address all parts of the question. You should explain the causes of reoffending clearly and suggest realistic solutions. Also, ensure that every point you make directly relates to the prompt and contributes to your overall argument.
task achievement
Develop your ideas fully to make your essay comprehensive. Each point you make should be explained thoroughly, and your argument should be easy to follow. You should avoid simple statements; instead, explain why these statements are true or how they are relevant to the topic at hand.
task achievement
Use relevant specific examples to strengthen your arguments. These examples can be hypothetical, drawn from current events, historical evidence, or personal experience. They should clearly relate to the point you're trying to make and provide weight to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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