Many criminals commit further crime as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What possible solutions can you suggest?
It is often said that criminals didn’t stop to break the law
,
after they Remove the comma
apply
released
from prison to their world of crime.
Add a missing verb
were released
To begin
, Linking Words
same
of Correct your spelling
some
the
criminals have healthy Correct your spelling
some
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
on
their Change preposition
in
brain
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
for instance
they are born with psychopathy problems. So that they will never be able to fully control themselves to not break the law like Linking Words
reasonable
person is able to do it. By the Add an article
the reasonable
a reasonable
way
the Add a comma
way,
crimes
who are Replace the word
criminals
psychological
ill will forever be Change the word
psychologically
outlaw
. Meanwhile, criminals who have to offence a cause of their position are different Wrong verb form
outlawed
cause
.
Change the form of the verb
causes
For example
, a newly released man who is homeless, if he can’t afford to eat food, Linking Words
he
will steal something to Correct pronoun usage
apply
continues
his life. Wrong verb form
continue
Thus
, there are many causes to Linking Words
this
question as Linking Words
why
freshly released convicts keep to crime.
Change preposition
to why
However
, Linking Words
this
problem may be addressed with a few suggestions. Linking Words
First,
the prison facilities should Linking Words
to
introduce Fix the infinitive
apply
any
education Correct quantifier usage
apply
program
to Fix the agreement mistake
programs
rehabilitating
Wrong verb form
rehabilitate
the
convicts after release, especially with commits who have Correct article usage
apply
psychology
Replace the word
psychological
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
at the end
of that program rehabilitating Linking Words
school
give Fix the agreement mistake
schools
certificate
Fix the agreement mistake
certificates
about
to Change preposition
apply
ready
to work in any community. Add a missing verb
be ready
Second,
the government Linking Words
don’t
afraid of spending money to support Verb problem
is not
Change preposition
apply
for
released commits to join normal communities, Change preposition
apply
applying
jobs and move Add the preposition
applying for
Change preposition
to new
new
Change preposition
to new
Fix the agreement mistake
places
place
to start their new Fix the agreement mistake
places
Replace the word
lives
live
insist Replace the word
lives
Change preposition
on
of
laughing at them because of their criminal history they did.
In conclusion, offenders may have plenty Change preposition
on
reason
to Change preposition
of reason
do
act criminally after release but if the government Unnecessary verb
apply
support
rehabilitating centers, Correct subject-verb agreement
supports
then
Linking Words
it s
possible to help them Correct your spelling
it's
to came
back into society.Verb problem
come
Submitted by ilyosov2003 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure of your essay, ensure that your ideas are organized in a clear and logical manner. Each paragraph should contain one main idea and be expanded with supporting details, examples, or explanations.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion need to be more distinct and clear. The introduction should outline the causes and solutions that will be discussed, while the conclusion should summarize the main points and restate your overall view on the issue.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples and explanations. Whenever you mention a cause or a solution, illustrate it with an example or expand on it to show the examiner that you have a deep understanding of the topic.
task achievement
To fulfill the task achievement criteria, make sure you address all parts of the question. You should explain the causes of reoffending clearly and suggest realistic solutions. Also, ensure that every point you make directly relates to the prompt and contributes to your overall argument.
task achievement
Develop your ideas fully to make your essay comprehensive. Each point you make should be explained thoroughly, and your argument should be easy to follow. You should avoid simple statements; instead, explain why these statements are true or how they are relevant to the topic at hand.
task achievement
Use relevant specific examples to strengthen your arguments. These examples can be hypothetical, drawn from current events, historical evidence, or personal experience. They should clearly relate to the point you're trying to make and provide weight to your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.