The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agrée or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In
sophisticated
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the sophisticated
a sophisticated
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world ,
science
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is
crucial
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a crucial
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part
for
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of
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every individual. It will help to improve people’s lives. From my perspective,
this
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trend is completely agreed
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due
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upon due
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to
growing
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the growing
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numbers of agricultural and medical benefits.
However
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, emerging issues seem to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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loom over
this
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prospect, which will be discussed below, and I will offer my views.
To begin
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with, nowadays,
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
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of agriculture
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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rising
due to
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improvement
Correct article usage
the improvement
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of
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in
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science
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
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, in
early
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the early
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years, farmers faced difficulties
by
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with
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pesticides, which
are
Verb problem
had
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detrimental
effect
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effects
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of
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on
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crops.
However
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, nowadays, scientists determined more crops with resistant to
the
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apply
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pesticide
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pesticides
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.
For example
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, in
srilanka
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Sri Lanka
Srilanka
, over the following years,
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the economical
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economical
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economic
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value of
agricultural
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agriculture
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was enhancing above million hectares.
Overall
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, the wealthy
live
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lives
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of farmers have been increasing
due to
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science
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.
Additionally
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, in medicine, numerous anti-agents
are
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have been
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discovered by scientists
last
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50 years.
It’s
Unnecessary verb
It
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help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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to reduce the death rate
in
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apply
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worldwide.
Moreover
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, the varieties of surgeries
as well as
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treatments are growing in
development
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developing
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countries
such
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as
X-ray
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X-rays
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, heart
transplant
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transplants
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, optical surgery and liver
transplant
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transplants
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.
For example
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, in 2021,
corona
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coronavirus
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affects
Wrong verb form
affected
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the worldwide population severely.
Then
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after, scientists found a vaccine for the virus and reduced
death
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the death
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rate. Overhead,
medical
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the medical
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field was built with new facilities
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
Use synonyms
science
Replace the word
scientific
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improvement.
To conclude
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, despite the drawbacks, the benefits of
science
Use synonyms
trumps
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trump
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the cons in a milestone. I
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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improvement
Correct article usage
the improvement
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of technology is only focused on
progress
Add an article
the progress
show examples
of people’s lives.
Submitted by krishmahendran19 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Your current structure is mostly clear, but sometimes the connection between ideas can be refined for better clarity.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction could more explicitly address the statement from the prompt, providing a clear thesis statement that reflects your position. This helps in setting a strong foundation for the rest of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs. You've made some effort in this regard, but increased variety and precision in linking expressions can improve the readability and flow of your essay.
task achievement
Ensure supporting ideas are fully developed with explanations and examples. You provided relevant examples, but they could be more detailed to reinforce your points effectively.
task achievement
The task asks for your opinion and you provide it, which is good. Make sure you maintain a clear position throughout your response. That said, further elaboration on the 'emerging issues' would have given more balance and depth to your argumentation.
coherence cohesion
Pay close attention to grammar and vocabulary. While your essay demonstrates a certain level of proficiency in English, there are numerous errors that can affect the readability and overall quality of your response. Proofreading and corrections can significantly for both task achievement and coherence.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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