Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In
this
technology-focused world, the use of gadgets has been increasing. Some might argue that restricting young kids from using their mobile
phones
during school time benefits children,
while
I believe
otherwise
that they are supposed to be able to access their devices during
this
time. On the one hand, most of the time, mobile devices seem to be a major distraction to someone's focus when they are involved in some important activities,
such
as studying. The distractions are caused by phone usage, ranging from games to social media.
Therefore
, banning
phones
during academic periods tends to be a viable measure to increase
students
' performance in studying. An example can be seen in one study that compares pupils who do not engage on their devices
while
studying with those who do, and the result demonstrates that the former performs better.
On the other hand
,
due to
the development of the internet, smartphones have become a reliable source to study. Today, pupils can do their research efficiently with the help of digital libraries and websites, or even artificial intelligence. If the gadget use is limited, it means the sources that could be used by
students
for educational purposes are
also
limited.
For instance
, in a school that allows their
students
to utilise mobile
phones
, the kids become more independent and they tend to have exceptional academic results because they are able to synthesise the sources.
To sum up
,
although
the restriction on the usage of mobile
phones
seems to be able to boost children's performance by improving their focus, it seems to be not practical
due to
the fact that gadgets are one of the excellent and efficient sources of information for
students
.
Submitted by usedtobesomeoneyoulove on

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task achievement
Ensure your arguments are fully developed and directly address the topic. Although you have covered both sides of the argument, try to support your points with more specific examples and evidence.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to transitions between points and paragraphs to improve the flow of the essay. Try to use a variety of cohesive devices to link your ideas more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your arguments effectively.
task achievement
You presented both sides of the argument and articulated your opinion, fulfilling the task requirements.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Distraction
  • Cyberbullying
  • Concentration
  • Emergency communication
  • Digital literacy
  • Educational resources
  • Social development
  • Self-regulation
  • Enforcement
  • Socioeconomic status
  • Technology access
  • Learning apps
  • Screen time
  • Peer interaction
  • School policy
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