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Band 2.5

New research has shown that overeating has become a bigger problem in the world than hunger. What are the reasons of this problem?How can ssolve it?

#research #world #hunger #ssolve
Nowadays overeating has become one of the biggest
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
show examples
 in the world. I agree with
this
 statement and in
this
 essay, I will mention some of the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
problem
.
Firstly
, the most
importent
Correct your spelling
important
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
 is that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast food
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 not expensive.
For example
, most of the fast food
Correct your spelling
restaurant
restaurants
resturant
Correct your spelling
restaurants
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
seling
Correct your spelling
selling
 meals with high amounts of
fats
Fix the agreement mistake
fat
show examples
 and
thos
Correct your spelling
those
 meals will cost only
Correct your spelling
around
aroun
Correct your spelling
around
 2 to 4 reals
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
Correct your spelling
maximum
maximam
Correct your spelling
maximum
while
 the
Correct your spelling
healthy
halthy
Correct your spelling
healthy
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
coality
Correct your spelling
quality
 food will cost you a lot
Correct quantifier usage
more that
show examples
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 is why most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
 will go to
this
choisse
Correct your spelling
choices
insted
Correct your spelling
instead
 of being
helthy
Correct your spelling
healthy
.
Also
, one of the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
problem
 is pressure and stress.
For example
,
people
 who are having some problems in their
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
sach
Correct your spelling
such
 as family
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
 or in their work
inviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
 all of
this kind
Fix the agreement mistake
these kinds
show examples
 of
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 will have a negative impact on them so
as a result
 they will find it as sulotion to get out
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
 feelings. In conclusion, I believe that being
helthy
Correct your spelling
healthy
 is not that easy .
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 as an
adult
Add a comma
adult,
show examples
 we have to help
people
 who are
faceing
Correct your spelling
facing
this
 kind of issue and
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
as a
acommunity
Correct your spelling
community
 we should be more supportive
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 those
people
.
Submitted by khoulaalshanfari on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Try to introduce the topic broadly, then narrow down to your thesis statement in the introduction. In the body, each paragraph should represent a separate idea or reason to support your position, with clear topic sentences. Summarize and restate your thesis in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points by expanding on them with explanations, details, and examples. Aim for fully developed paragraphs that include more than a single sentence or idea.
task achievement
Enhance response completeness by addressing all parts of the task. Analyze the causes of overeating and suggest specific solutions. Make sure to give equal emphasis to both aspects of the question.
task achievement
Clarify and expand your ideas to ensure comprehensive coverage of the topic. Avoid overly general statements and strive to include more specific information and clear examples that directly support your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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