IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

New research has shown that overeating has become a bigger problem in the world than hunger. What are the reasons of this problem?How can ssolve it?

#research #world #hunger #ssolve
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Nowadays overeating has become one of the biggest
Use synonyms
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
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 in the world. I agree with
this
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 statement and in
this
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 essay, I will mention some of the reasons
of
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for
show examples
this
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problem
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
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, the most
importent
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important
reasons
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reason
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 is that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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fast food
are
Change the verb form
is
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 not expensive.
For example
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, most of the fast food
Correct your spelling
restaurant
restaurants
resturant
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restaurants
are
Change the verb form
is
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seling
Correct your spelling
selling
 meals with high amounts of
fats
Fix the agreement mistake
fat
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 and
thos
Correct your spelling
those
 meals will cost only
Correct your spelling
around
aroun
Correct your spelling
around
 2 to 4 reals
in
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at
show examples
Correct your spelling
maximum
maximam
Correct your spelling
maximum
while
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 the
Correct your spelling
healthy
halthy
Correct your spelling
healthy
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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good
coality
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quality
 food will cost you a lot
Correct quantifier usage
more that
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that
Correct word choice
than
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 is why most
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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people
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 will go to
this
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choisse
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choices
insted
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instead
 of being
helthy
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healthy
.
Also
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, one of the reasons
of
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for
show examples
this
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problem
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 is pressure and stress.
For example
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,
people
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 who are having some problems in their
live
Replace the word
lives
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sach
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such
 as family
issue
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issues
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 or in their work
inviroment
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environment
 all of
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this kind
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these kinds
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 of
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problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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 will have a negative impact on them so
as a result
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 they will find it as sulotion to get out
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
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 feelings. In conclusion, I believe that being
helthy
Correct your spelling
healthy
 is not that easy .
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However
Add a comma
However,
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 as an
adult
Add a comma
adult,
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 we have to help
people
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 who are
faceing
Correct your spelling
facing
this
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 kind of issue and
to
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apply
show examples
as a
acommunity
Correct your spelling
community
 we should be more supportive
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 those
people
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by khoulaalshanfari on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Try to introduce the topic broadly, then narrow down to your thesis statement in the introduction. In the body, each paragraph should represent a separate idea or reason to support your position, with clear topic sentences. Summarize and restate your thesis in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points by expanding on them with explanations, details, and examples. Aim for fully developed paragraphs that include more than a single sentence or idea.
task achievement
Enhance response completeness by addressing all parts of the task. Analyze the causes of overeating and suggest specific solutions. Make sure to give equal emphasis to both aspects of the question.
task achievement
Clarify and expand your ideas to ensure comprehensive coverage of the topic. Avoid overly general statements and strive to include more specific information and clear examples that directly support your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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