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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #punishments #type #crime #circumstances #motivation #account #punishment
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Nowadays, more and more individuals keep with the belief that
punishments
 should be created depending on the kind of
crime
,
while
 others say that it depends on a motivation for committing it.
Although
 having fixed
punishments
 allows
governments
 to save time, reasons for committing should be considered as well. There should be fixed kinds of
punishments
 for each
crime
 since it allows
governments
 to decide criminals' consequences as quickly as It is possible. They will neither consider the
crime
 nor pay attention to motivations, because of a paper with fixed
punishments
 for each
crime
.
For example
, when individuals commit a
crime
,
governments
 do not spend time checking extra aspects
such
 as criminals' circumstances, since there are papers with fixed
punishments
.
As a result
, both authorities and police officers finish the work faster.
Therefore
, If there is a document about
punishments
 for each
crime
, it will not be time-consuming.
On the other hand
, motivations for acting awful need to be considered as well, since there could be some cases when
crime
Add an article
a crime
the crime
show examples
 has mental damage. They may not be able to take control of themselves.
As a consequence
, it leads them to commit a
crime
, they actually do not want.
For instance
, when people have mental damage,
such
 as kleptomania, they steal goods from shops. Since they are not able to take control of themselves
as well as
 their disease, they steal the items.
Thus
, both motivations and leading factors should be considered, when choosing the
punishments
. By taking both sides into account, I think that the reasons for committing should be checked when
governments
 choose
punishments
. If we include it, we will help individuals with mental damage.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
Try to elaborate on your examples a bit more to make them highly relevant and specific to the points you are making.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay maintains logical structure by adding more transitional phrases between paragraphs and within arguments.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and provide a good framework for your arguments.
complete response
The essay demonstrates a clear response to the task and covers both viewpoints effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fixed punishments
  • consistency
  • predictability
  • deter crime
  • potential offenders
  • streamline
  • judicial process
  • bias
  • corruption
  • complexity
  • human behavior
  • circumstances
  • justice system
  • intent
  • remorse
  • socio-economic background
  • rehabilitate offenders
  • recidivism rates
  • flexible punishment systems
  • inconsistencies
  • perceived injustices
  • public trust
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