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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

should student study harder than lesson. Do you agree or diagree?

#student #study #lesson #diagree
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As the world keeps moving making adaptation innovations encourages the
students
 to develop themselves. Some people believe that
this
 is a positive opportunity to study harder than the
sourace
Correct your spelling
source
surface
while
 other opposes that should let
students
 gain experience.
This
 essay will examine why I disagree with
this
 statement will be discussed. The initial reason is that
students
 do not have to be stressed to study insignificant chapters. It cannot be denied that if the world is a big competition, experience plays an essential role for a runner to approach the goal. To clarify,
students
' experience of being a part of society cannot provided by the education system
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 the kids and teenagers can improve their social interaction and creativity.
Moreover
,
this
 allows the learner to think outside the box. Another reason is that the learner will not have enough
time
 to spend with their family. Since the pupils do not understand activities it allows them to study harder at home.
For instance
,
while
 it is family
time
 to watch television or play games, they have to miss the opportunity to create a memorable moment.
Therefore
, the lesson might not be in the kid's interest and might not be useful in the long term which means that it was wasting
time
. In conclusion, the reason why I disagree with pupils learning harder than the textbook is that stress allows kids to lose opportunities in reality society.
Furthermore
, it creates a gap between the parents
due to
 the
time
 that they spend on homework and research.
Submitted by sasathornterm on

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Introduction
The essay provides a stance but needs a clearer thesis statement indicating the reasons for disagreement. Include a roadmap in the introduction to outline the essay's structure.
Body Paragraphs
Ensure paragraphs are well-structured with clear topic sentences, supporting sentences, and a concluding sentence. Consider developing your paragraphs with more detailed examples.
Task Response
The essay does not fully address the prompt as it only touches on why studying harder than necessary can be negative without discussing views supporting the notion. To improve, discuss both sides or clearly justify the one-sided approach within the prompt's context.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on linking ideas and paragraphs more coherently. Use a range of cohesive devices and transitional phrases to improve the flow of your essay.
Conclusion
Include a clear conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your position. The conclusion should not introduce new ideas.
Examples & Support
Incorporate specific examples to strengthen your arguments. This can include statistics, studies, or real-world examples that are directly relevant to your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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