Some people believe that the best way to solve environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other private vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is an opinion asserting that increasing the price of fuels is helpful for air pollution, and
accordingly
the environmental issues are solved. Although
I agree that it is important to use
fewer private vehicles
, I do not think that it is ample reason for addressing so-called problems.
To begin
with, the compelling reason for this
assertion is that these days, most people all over the world use
their private cars
more than any other time, and it has an ill effect on the air. If they face a high cost of this
kind of energy
, in order to enormously of
Change preposition
apply
them
not afford it, they will highly likely Correct pronoun usage
apply
use
other transferring vehicles
such
as buses, subways and metros. That is
to say, the more
Correct word choice
higher
price
of Correct article usage
the price
energy
the less using private cars
. A good illustration of this
is Iran since the cost of energy
has changed the more people use
public transportation. Thus
, when the amount of air pollution declines the most useful means is for the environment.
On the other hand
, firstly
, this
type of energy
is not only used for private vehicles
but also
it is the main source for factors and other activities such
as warming systems. To put it differently, private cars
are not the only and the most significant factors for threatening the environment. Secondly
, there are other root causes which have dire consequences on the destruction of the environment. Take the extinction of some species as an example; by doing so, a serious danger threaten
our planet Change the verb form
threatens
due to
changing the ecosystem. Hence
, regardless of advantages
that raising the cost of fuel Correct article usage
the advantages
have
, it is not the only way to overcome environmental problems.
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
To conclude
, there are clear benefits of employing public transportation instead
of our own cars
; however
, I do not believe doing it can be the best means to solving environmental issues. This
is because fossil fuels are
used in private Unnecessary verb
apply
vehicles
are not the only cause of these problems.Submitted by niloofar_sk33 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that all sentences within the paragraph support that idea coherently. When moving from one idea to another, make your transitions smoother by using a wider range of connective words and phrases.
coherence cohesion
Make certain that the introduction clearly presents the topic and your position on the issue, and that the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates your opinion. Try to make them more impactful by directly addressing the essay question and refining your thesis statement.
task achievement
Develop your main points further by providing more detailed examples and evidence. Ensure that your examples are directly relevant to the main point of each paragraph and elaborate on how they support your argument.
task achievement
Work on presenting your ideas more comprehensively by expanding on them, explaining the reasoning behind your views, and exploring their implications in greater depth. Strive for clarity to ensure that your argument is easy to follow and understand.