The graph below shows how elderly people in the United States spent their free time between 1980 and 2010

#people #states #time

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The graph illustrates the data about the leisure time

activities

Use synonyms

of elderly people in the US, covering a period between 1980 and 2010.

Overall

Linking Words

, what stands out from the graph is that the

activities

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listed have experienced some fluctuations, excluding hiking. The percentage of hiking popularity has been rising gradually over 30 years, and it ended up being the most popular activity among all 6

activities

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. Looking at the details, in the first decade, the percentages of reading, hiking, watching

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, and surfing the internet rose noticeably.

While

Linking Words

watching

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, surfing the Internet, and hiking have been increasing in 2000, the reading percentage experienced a significant decline to 20%.

Then

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, the figure went up rapidly, finishing at 60%.

Likewise

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, surfing

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and hiking increased,

however

Linking Words

, watching

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faced a negligible fall to nearly 65%.

However

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, the popularity of going to theatres fell dramatically by 20%, in the first 10 years.

Next,

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the figure soared to 40% in 2000,

then

Linking Words

it rose negligibly to approximately 45% in 2010, which made theatre the lowest in the list of

activities

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Submitted by naira.gumar on Fri Feb 09 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words activities, tv with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

177 words

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The graph below shows how elderly people in the United States spent their free time between 1980 and 2010

Many countries offer a free health care system to their citizens rather than relying on private health care. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of having a free system, and give your opinion.

Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

Students should pay the full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

ome families send their children to a foreign country to be educated. Discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of this course of action. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.