IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve the growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What measures do you think might be effective?

#price #petrol #traffic #pollution #measures
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Economy
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The economy
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 is growing fast and we need to be fast too. A lot of people
uses
Correct subject-verb agreement
use
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cars
 for transportation.
This
 results in
traffic
 and pollution problems.
While
 our government is finding ways to solve the
traffic
 by building more roads, bridges, tunnels, etc., and the pollution by involving us in recycling and planting trees - these solutions are for
long
Correct article usage
the long
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 term. A suggestion to
increase
 the price of petrol was provided and I would like to disagree. There are lots of areas that will be affected in case
this
 happens. Transporting goods will be more expensive which will lead to prices
to go
Change the verb form
going
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 up. Taxis, trains and buses will
increase
 their rates.
Cost
Correct article usage
The cost
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 of living will skyrocket. Everything, from products to services will
increase
 their prices. There are better
alternative
Fix the agreement mistake
alternatives
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 to solve the problem
with
Change preposition
of
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traffic
 and pollution. Why don't we ride a
bycicle
Correct your spelling
bicycle
? Not only
that
Correct word choice
apply
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it will improve our health
,
Add the word(s)
, but
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it will
also
 decrease the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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 of
cars
 on the road. Less
cars
 will result
to
Change preposition
in
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 less emissions. You will
also
 save money on petrol since you only need to pedal from one point to another. I'd rather see a busy street with bicycles than a sea of
cars
 with so much smoke and
noises
Fix the agreement mistake
noise
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. The time you spend in
traffic
 will be
lesser
Correct word choice
less
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. You will have more time for
your self
Correct your spelling
yourself
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 and your family. So, would you rather
increase
 the prices of petrol and make living harder for everyone, or get a bike and move out of the
traffic
, get healthier and live longer
.
Change the punctuation
?
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 There is always a better choice!
Submitted by helgavitalivna on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic and link sentences logically. Transitions between ideas can be clearer to enhance flow.
Task Achievement
Develop more specific examples or data to support your argument. This will add depth and strength to your points.
Task Achievement
The introduction clearly sets out the position of disagreeing with the proposed solution of increasing petrol prices.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay concludes with a compelling argument promoting bicycles as a healthier alternative to car usage.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Discourage
  • Incentivize
  • Alternative energy
  • Public transportation
  • Lower-income
  • Carpool
  • Ride-sharing
  • Congestion
  • Urban planning
  • Pedestrian-friendly
  • Tax incentives
  • Electric and hybrid vehicles
  • Emissions standards
  • Cleaner vehicles
  • Congestion charges
  • Bicycle lanes
  • Sustainable
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