IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve the growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What measures do you think might be effective?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Economy
Add an article
The economy
show examples
 is growing fast and we need to be fast too. A lot of people
uses
Correct subject-verb agreement
use
show examples
cars
Use synonyms
 for transportation.
This
Linking Words
 results in
traffic
Use synonyms
 and pollution problems.
While
Linking Words
 our government is finding ways to solve the
traffic
Use synonyms
 by building more roads, bridges, tunnels, etc., and the pollution by involving us in recycling and planting trees - these solutions are for
long
Correct article usage
the long
show examples
 term. A suggestion to
increase
Use synonyms
 the price of petrol was provided and I would like to disagree. There are lots of areas that will be affected in case
this
Linking Words
 happens. Transporting goods will be more expensive which will lead to prices
to go
Change the verb form
going
show examples
 up. Taxis, trains and buses will
increase
Use synonyms
 their rates.
Cost
Correct article usage
The cost
show examples
 of living will skyrocket. Everything, from products to services will
increase
Use synonyms
 their prices. There are better
alternative
Fix the agreement mistake
alternatives
show examples
 to solve the problem
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
traffic
Use synonyms
 and pollution. Why don't we ride a
bycicle
Correct your spelling
bicycle
? Not only
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it will improve our health
,
Add the word(s)
, but
show examples
it will
also
Linking Words
 decrease the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
cars
Use synonyms
 on the road. Less
cars
Use synonyms
 will result
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 less emissions. You will
also
Linking Words
 save money on petrol since you only need to pedal from one point to another. I'd rather see a busy street with bicycles than a sea of
cars
Use synonyms
 with so much smoke and
noises
Fix the agreement mistake
noise
show examples
. The time you spend in
traffic
Use synonyms
 will be
lesser
Correct word choice
less
show examples
. You will have more time for
your self
Correct your spelling
yourself
show examples
 and your family. So, would you rather
increase
Use synonyms
 the prices of petrol and make living harder for everyone, or get a bike and move out of the
traffic
Use synonyms
, get healthier and live longer
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 There is always a better choice!

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic and link sentences logically. Transitions between ideas can be clearer to enhance flow.
Task Achievement
Develop more specific examples or data to support your argument. This will add depth and strength to your points.
Task Achievement
The introduction clearly sets out the position of disagreeing with the proposed solution of increasing petrol prices.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay concludes with a compelling argument promoting bicycles as a healthier alternative to car usage.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Discourage
  • Incentivize
  • Alternative energy
  • Public transportation
  • Lower-income
  • Carpool
  • Ride-sharing
  • Congestion
  • Urban planning
  • Pedestrian-friendly
  • Tax incentives
  • Electric and hybrid vehicles
  • Emissions standards
  • Cleaner vehicles
  • Congestion charges
  • Bicycle lanes
  • Sustainable
What to do next:
Look at other essays: