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Band 5

Many cities are loosing natural environment due to the effect of over-population and ubranisation. In this essay will delve in to the benefits for protecting these places and put forward some practical solutions to tackle this issue

#cities #environment #effect #over-population #ubranisation #places
Many
cities
 are
loosing
Replace the word
losing
show examples
natural
Correct article usage
the natural
show examples
 environment
due to
 the effect of
over-population
Correct your spelling
overpopulation
show examples
 and
ubranisation
Correct your spelling
urbanisation
.
In
Change preposition
This
show examples
this
 essay will delve
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
 the benefits
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 protecting these places and put forward some practical solutions to tackle
this
 issue First and foremost, one of the obvious advantages of protecting natural spots of
cities
 by balancing population and urbanization is
reduction
Add an article
the reduction
a reduction
show examples
 of
pollution
.
In other words
, most of the
cities
, indeed,
in
Add a missing verb
are in
show examples
 the clutches of
pollution
, and recovering
natural
Correct article usage
the natural
show examples
 environment of these
cities
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 crucial to
reduce
Change the verb form
reducing
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polluation
Correct your spelling
pollution
.
For example
,
In
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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Berllin, significantly
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pollution
 by taking measures for population control and
restrict
Wrong verb form
restricting
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to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
new infrastructure development in the city.
Besides
, the living
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
 of the people would improve by protecting
nature
Correct article usage
the nature
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 of
cities
. More green spaces can
be create
Change the verb form
create
show examples
 better living
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
 for the people. Natural spaces will help to improve
mental
Add an article
the mental
show examples
 and physical health of the public.
Nevetheless
Correct your spelling
Nevertheless
, there are some practical solutions to address
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
urbanization and over-population in
cities
.
Firstly
,
Correct article usage
the relocatation
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relocatation
Correct your spelling
relocation
 of enormous business establishments from the
cities
 to suburbs or
countrysides
Fix the agreement mistake
countryside
show examples
 would help to tackle
this
 issue. In detail,
Correct article usage
the
show examples
relocation of major
corporate
Replace the word
corporations
show examples
 from
cities
 will reduce not only population but
also
 infrastructural developments.
By doing
Change preposition
Doing
show examples
this
 would help to recover the natural beauty of
cities
.
For example
, Zoho, a major software company,
relocate
Wrong verb form
relocated
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their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 corporate office to a village in
india
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India
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leads move thousands of employees to a village
instead
 of living in the city.
Similarly
,
government
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the government
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 should create
law
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laws
show examples
 to limit
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
concrete buildings. The
environmental
Change the word
Environmentally
show examples
 friendly infrastructures should be promoted and provide tax
benefites
Correct your spelling
benefits
. In conclusion,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
reducing over-population and urbanization not only
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
show examples
pollution
 but
also
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
show examples
health
Add an article
the health
show examples
 of
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
. Ergo, the relocation of business organisations and green building concepts would help to address
this
 issue
Submitted by ck.manshad on

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structure
Ensure that the essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction should outline the main points to be discussed, while the conclusion should succinctly summarize the points made and restate the writer's position.
cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices and transitional phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. This includes words like 'additionally', 'for instance', and 'consequently' to make the text more coherent.
grammar
Work on grammar and punctuation. Incorrect use of articles, prepositions, and sentence structure detracts from the clarity of the response. Proofreading and revising for grammatical accuracy is essential.
examples
Expand on the examples given by providing more detail and explanation. While Zoho's relocation is a good example, explaining the impact it has on urban planning and the environment would strengthen the argument.
clarity
Be clear and precise in your ideas. Avoid repetition and unclear statements by specifying which pollution types you're referring to and how exactly pollution will be reduced.
sentence structure
Include a variety of sentence structures in your writing to showcase language ability. Combining simple, compound, and complex sentences will make the text more interesting and demonstrate control of English.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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