It can be difficult for small local shops to compete with large supermarkets and with on-line shops. How does this affect local communities? What could be done to improve this situation?
Nowadays it is possible
for buying
from large supermarkets and Change preposition
to buy
also
from Linking Words
the
online shopping. Correct article usage
apply
This
is good for some Linking Words
people
and we can choose many products. The problem is small local Use synonyms
shops
that are closing because of big Use synonyms
shops
. I think that small Use synonyms
shops
need saving.
There is more choice than in the past for shopping. Use synonyms
For
Linking Words
example
there are out town shopping centres and large supermarkets in every town. Add a comma
example,
On the other
Linking Words
hand
many Add a comma
hand,
people
buy online shopping and Use synonyms
this
is very cheap for some Linking Words
people
. Online shopping is Use synonyms
also
all day so Linking Words
people
working can shop at night for cheap.
Use synonyms
Linking Words
However
the problem is with small local Add a comma
However,
shops
. Small Use synonyms
retailists
do not have very much money and Correct your spelling
retailers
also
they Linking Words
buy
not many products. Add a missing verb
do buy
This
means that they sell small numbers and the price is high for them to make money. Many Linking Words
people
go Use synonyms
large
shopping and online because the price is high. Correct word choice
online
As a result
in the future small Linking Words
shops
will close because no customers are shopping there. Use synonyms
This
is happening in my country. All Linking Words
shops
are the same in the towns and small Use synonyms
shops
have to close because of the crisis.
Only large supermarkets or Use synonyms
retailists
the same everywhere else can be open. I think that it is a problem and if all Correct your spelling
retailers
Use synonyms
shops
close Correct article usage
the shops
then
towns would all be the same everywhere.
In conclusion, I think that Linking Words
people
need to support local Use synonyms
shops
and buy there so that they stay open. We all need to help to have the local community the way we want to live.Use synonyms
Submitted by mohamedicdl175 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Work on providing a clear introduction with a thesis statement that outlines the main points you will discuss in your essay. This will also help to improve the logical structure.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a more defined structure with distinct paragraphs for the introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points more thoroughly by explaining how the closure of small shops does affect local communities. You should also use specific examples to support your points.
task achievement
Focus on directly addressing both parts of the question: the effect on local communities and specific solutions to improve the situation. Make sure that your essay provides a complete response to the task.
task achievement
Strive for clearer and more comprehensive ideas by expanding on your thoughts and explaining them in more depth. Avoid vague statements and provide clear explanations.
task achievement
Use relevant and specific examples to support your ideas. This not only strengthens your argument but also demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.