Happiness is often considered difficult to define. Why is this? What factors determine happiness?

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Happiness

is not an easy term to define; it varies on the individual’s belief and point of view. The predominant rationale for

happiness

may be life satisfaction. Every person has a different sense of feeling and emotions, making it complicated to define the term. Men and women measure their joyfulness in totally different aspects.

Firstly

, the word happy defines an emotion. Emotions are not terms that can be written on paper. Wealthy people are grown up in

such

an environment that they find pleasure in materialistic objects. They feel themselves accomplished after possessing a luxury item. Meanwhile, middle-class people are struggling hard to survive in

this

finance-oriented world. Their satisfaction lies in the fulfilment of their basic requirements. Talking about poor people,

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

suffer from a very tough life; their pleasure is just food, clothes and shelter.

This

way, “

Happiness

” has varied meanings and is considered difficult to define.

Secondly

, men are from Mars, and women are from Venus. They have the feeling of cheerfulness on two different sides of a coin. Men find pleasure in materialistic things,

whereas

Women get the feeling of merriment with emotions. Men’s

happiness

is determined by their possessions,

for example

, owning a house, cars, watches, etc. To measure a woman’s

happiness

, the amount of love and care she receives is the answer.

To conclude

, the emotion of

happiness

is an extremely difficult task to explain. Numerous factors can help to determine cheerfulness.

Additionally

, those factors

also

vary based on different genders.

Submitted by rushsoni1998 on Fri Feb 09 2024

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introduction conclusion present

Your essay presents an overarching argument but needs to be more explicit in outlining the main points in the introduction. Consider crafting a clear thesis statement that directly answers the question and sets the stage for the subsequent paragraphs.

logical structure

Ensure that you have logical transitions and connectives between the paragraphs to guide the reader smoothly from one idea to the next.

supported main points

Support each main point with specific examples or evidence. While you mention different socio-economic backgrounds, more concrete examples would enhance your argument.

complete response

The essay addresses the topic, but the response would benefit from a deeper exploration of the various complex layers of happiness, perhaps by incorporating psychological or philosophical perspectives.

clear comprehensive ideas

Clear and comprehensive ideas have been presented, though they can be further elaborated with more nuanced arguments, especially when discussing the differences in how happiness is perceived by different genders.

relevant specific examples

Include more varied and detailed examples to substantiate your points. Using a wider range of specific instances, potentially including studies or statistics, could help improve the relevance of your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

247 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

subjective
complex
embrace
vary
definition
material possessions
achievements
personal values
relationships
self-fulfillment
psychological
physiological
genetics
predispositions
cultural
societal
perception
pursuit

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