Some people believe that educational success depends on good teachers, while others believe that students' attidutes are important . Discuss both views and give your opinions .

It is often considered that a few individuals reckon that educational success depends on good mentors,
Whereas
, many think that educatees behaviour
are
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is
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essential. In my, an inclined, teachers are the one who plays a vital role in the education of children.
Thus
,
this
essay will elaborate on both notions which
further
leads to a logical conclusion.
Commencing
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apply
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, there are manyfold factors which support that tutors are mandatory for
kids
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kids'
kid's
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success
,
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apply
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because teachers are the
one
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ones
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who
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
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approximately eight hours with students in learning and
guiding
Correct pronoun usage
guiding them
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.
Moreover
, teachers should be very kind in nature and always willing to help them in solving any query at any time.
For instance
, in "The Times of India" a newspaper illustrates
about
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apply
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a teacher who gives
best
Correct article usage
the best
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affords for their students and
as a consequence
of that, today his student is an IAS officer. Probing ahead, it is believed that students themselves are responsible for
the
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their
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achievements in any
fields
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field
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as it
the
Add a missing verb
is the
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individual's ability to understand any course and how they are working on that.
However
, success
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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all depends on juveniles who are doing
hardworks
Correct your spelling
hard work
hard works
and giving more time to their studies.
For example
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Rajiv Rathore from
poor
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a poor
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family is now a director of a Medical device company in India just because of his
hardworking
Correct word choice
hard work
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. In a nutshell, the tutors should understand each and every
topics
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topic
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to kids and make them feel free to ask again that question
,
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apply
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if they
had
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have
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any
doubt
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doubts
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.
Instead
of depending on others,
student
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the student
a student
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should know their capabilities to learn and how to deal with that.
Submitted by vermarohit981.rv on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines the discussion points, and the conclusion succinctly summarizes the essay without introducing new ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
Create a more logical structure by using appropriate paragraphing, with each paragraph discussing either the importance of teachers or students' attitudes, not mixing the two.
Coherence and Cohesion
Support main points with more specific and varied examples, including statistics, research findings, or real-world scenarios that illustrate the argument.
Task achievement
Fully address both views given in the prompt before providing your own opinion to ensure a complete response to the task.
Task achievement
Develop clear and comprehensive ideas by elaborating on them with more depth, explaining the rationale behind each viewpoint and its implications.
Task Achievement
Use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to convey ideas more effectively and to enhance the overall readability of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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