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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007
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THE LINE CHART ILLUSTRATES THE THE NUMBER OF OVERSEAS
VISITORS
Use synonyms
 TO THREE DIFFERENT AREAS IN A EUROPEAN COUNTRY FROM 1987 AND 2007.
OVERALL
Linking Words
, IN
FIRST
Correct article usage
THE FIRST
show examples
YEAR
Use synonyms
,
ALTHOUGH
Linking Words
 THE LAKES HAD FEWER OVERSEAS
VISITORS
Use synonyms
 COMPARED WITH OTHERS, IT STARTED TO SURGE AND PLACED IN THE SECOND STAGE IN THE
LAST
Linking Words
YEAR
Use synonyms
. THE TOPMOST PLACE WAS OCCUPIED BY THE COAST BOTH IN
FIRST
Correct article usage
THE FIRST
show examples
 AND
LAST
Linking Words
YEAR
Use synonyms
.
HOWEVER
Linking Words
, THE MOUNTAINS WAS THE ONLY AREA THAT STAY CONSTANT AND DID NOT EXHIBIT MANY CHANGES. THE NUMBER OF
VISITORS
Use synonyms
 WITH THOUSANDS WAS AROUND 40000 IN THE COAST WHICH CONSIDERED THE HIGHEST IN 1987.
NONETHELESS
Linking Words
 IT DROPPED FROM 40000 TO 35000 DURING THE FIRST 5 YEARS, IT PROTECTED ITS SUPREME PLACE.
HOWEVER
Linking Words
, IT SURGED BY 40000 IN THE NUMBER OF OVERSEAS
VISITORS
Use synonyms
 DURING THE 15 YEARS AND AGAIN, IT BECAME THE HIGHEST IN 2007. REGARDING TO THE LAKES, UNTIL 2002,
IT
Correct pronoun usage
THEY
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 SURGED DRAMMATICALLY FROM APPROXIMATELY 10000 TO 75000 AND CAPTURED THE UPMOST STAGE BY 1997.
HOWEVER
Linking Words
, IT BEGAN TO DECLINE AND HAD DROPPED BY AROUND 25000. FROM 1987 TO 2007, MOUNTAINS WAS THE ONLY PLACE THAT EXHIBITED THE LEAST NOTABLE RISE WITH 15000 AND FINISHED WITH 35000 IN THE
LAST
Linking Words
YEAR
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, last".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "surge" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overseas visitors
  • number of
  • areas
  • European country
  • between
  • 1987 and 2000
  • graph
  • introduce
  • overview
  • trends
  • describe
  • analyze
  • compare and contrast
  • summarize
  • main findings
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