IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

1.Every year more and more students choose to study online rather than attend classes on campus. Why do you think students prefer to study online? What can universities do to attract students to study on campus?

Nowadays, there is a notable trend in
students
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 that they prefer online
classes
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instead
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 of going to
school
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 for the class.
While
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 it is not a great attitude for many schools, there are some reasons for
this
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 trend in the attendance of
students
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, and these institutions should engage with some effective measures to attract their
students
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 to come back to
school
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.
Firstly
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, one of the major reasons that individuals choose online study courses is cost efficiency, contributing to saving their budget for studying.
For example
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, many famous and familiar universities are located in significantly developed countries,
such
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 as the US and the UK, where the living cost is incredibly expensive.
Subsequently
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, many
students
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 who are not rich, tend to choose online courses which are more economical if schools provide these options.
Moreover
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, online
classes
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 enable
students
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 to spend time in more practical ways, including on their pastimes and part-time jobs
instead
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 of commuting. To tackle
this
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 problem, one of the possible effective solutions is increasing communicative content in
classes
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, which needs considerable interaction among
students
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.
For example
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, doing research on a particular theme by student groups, brings a necessity for interactive communication, thereby coming back to
school
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 more frequently.
Additionally
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, the development of
school
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 facilities is firmly attractive for individuals, including a sports centre, a cinema, and restaurants. There are several schools in Japan, that succeeded in increasing the population of
students
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 by enhancing their facilities. In summary,
due to
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 its cost effect and time efficiency, many
students
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 prefer online
classes
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 rather than attending
classes
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 on campus.
However
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, educational institutions can take effective countermeasures which showcase their
school
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 in a more attractive way to
students
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, to make the campus full of energy and excitement.

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure a strong thesis statement that clearly states your viewpoints or predictions, which will improve coherence and cohesion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Utilize a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect ideas and enhance the essay's logical flow.
Task Achievement
Expand on the main points with more detailed examples and explanations to effectively support your arguments, thus improving task achievement.
Task Achievement
Strive for a clear and consistent point of view throughout the essay to maintain task focus and directly address the questions posed.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Distance learning
  • E-learning platform
  • Virtual classroom
  • Self-paced study
  • Asynchronous/synchronous sessions
  • Digital resources
  • Webinars and online workshops
  • Interactive content
  • Educational technology
  • Campus amenities
  • Student engagement
  • Collaborative learning
  • Social integration
  • Networking opportunities
  • Experiential learning
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