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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

the map below show the future plan about the Biology School in a particularly university

the map below show the future plan about the Biology School in a particularly university
#show #future #plan #biology #school #university
The blow maps
displays
Change the verb form
display
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 a modification, which will take place in future for a Biology School in a
particulary
Correct your spelling
particular
particularly
 university.
Overall
, it is readily apparent that
Correct article usage
the nubmer
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nubmer
Correct your spelling
number
 of trees will decrease and the place will be equipped with more facilities.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
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 a big car park will be dedicated to
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
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,
as well as
 a new lab and office are going to
be appear
Change the verb form
appear
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. Some segments
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
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Correct article usage
the Centeral
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Centeral
Correct your spelling
Central
 library, The Road,
Indoor
Correct article usage
the Indoor
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sport
Change the noun form
sports
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 hall and the Cafe will
experienced
Change the verb form
experience
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 no changes and
reimain
Correct your spelling
remain
 in future.
On the other hand
, just four of
trees
Correct article usage
the trees
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nexst
Correct your spelling
next
 to the Indoor hall will maintain and others are going to be replaced by a new
labratory
Correct your spelling
laboratory
 and
beside
Replace the word
besides
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 that a new office will be constructed.
Moreover
, all five trees at
bottom
Correct article usage
the bottom
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 of the Road are going to be eradicated after the modernisation and a big car park for
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
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 will be
building
Wrong verb form
built
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 there.
Furthermore
, the plan is
going
Verb problem
apply
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to generalise The Drama centre
to
Change preposition
into
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 a Music centre.And,
lecture
Correct article usage
the lecture
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 room is going to be
doubledm
Correct your spelling
doubled
as well as
, Teaching
buldings
Correct your spelling
buildings
.
Finally
,
IT
Correct article usage
the IT
show examples
 centre just will have an
improvmet
Correct your spelling
improvement
 in size -no location and number.
Submitted by amirhossein7179 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "as well as".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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