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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Write a letter to a friend.You have borrowed something from your friend and it got damaged. 1.Apologize for damaging the product 2.Explain what happened 3.Say how are you going to fix the issue.

#friend #product
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Dear Sir or Madam I am writing regarding your
computer
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 being hacked.I am very sorry and I feel guilty in front of
you.No
Correct your spelling
No
 matter how much you get angry with me for
this
Linking Words
,you are right.Please accept
this
Linking Words
latter
Correct your spelling
letter
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 as my letter of regret. My first problem is the reason I am asking you for your
computer
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 is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
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I wanted to work on an important project.Your
laptop
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 is broken because
,
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apply
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 I inserted my
flesh
Capitalize word
Flesh
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 drive into your
laptop
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.I took your
computer
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 to a repair shop and unfortunately,they said your
laptop
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 has a virus and they can not fix it.I did not want it to happen like
this
Linking Words
,I apologize for my mistake. To resolve the problem,I want to rectify my mistake.I want to buy you a new
laptop
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.I would like you to opt
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 model of the
computer
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 yourself,of course,you have the right to do so. Yours sincerely GULBAHOR
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
The letter structure needs improvement. Make sure to use separate paragraphs for the apology, explanation, and solution.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure a friendly and informal tone appropriate for a letter to a friend. Avoid overly formal language such as 'Dear Sir or Madam.'
Coherence and Cohesion
Begin with a friendly greeting using your friend's name and end with an appropriate closing like 'Best regards' or 'Warmly,' followed by your first name.
Task Achievement
Provide a clear explanation of the sequence of events leading to the damage. Add details to clarify the situation.
Task Achievement
Offer a sincere and direct apology, and ensure the solution addresses the friend's potential feelings and inconvenience.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

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