IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The charts below show the number of reasons why some people leave UK and why some people choose to stay.

The charts below show the number of reasons why some people leave UK and why some people choose to stay.
#show #people #uk
The pie charts illustrate
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
several causes why a number of individuals have
tendency
Add an article
a tendency
the tendency
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 to live United Kingdom and some reasons of
people
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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leave that country.
Overall
, it can be seen that
decision
Correct article usage
the decision
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 to abandon
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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 and stay in
this
 country
Add a missing verb
was because
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because
Add the preposition
because of
show examples
 family & friends, employment and financial reasons. Looking in more detail, there were some factors which contributed in terms of why residents
to leave
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left
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 Britain and
move
Wrong verb form
moved
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in
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to
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 another state. Mostly, about 37% of
people
 desired to go to another nation because they looked for quality of life. The second major factor was
about
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apply
show examples
financial matters that
was
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were
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 required in order to
fulfill
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fulfil
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 the basic requirement of life, and about 24%
people
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of people
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 were included in
this
 factor. On
another side
Replace the word
the other hand
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, 12%
individuals
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of individuals
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 desire to abandon
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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 because of
weather
Correct article usage
the weather
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 and 18% because of employment.
Then
, Family and friends were
contributor
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contributors
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for
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to
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 9%
people
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of people
show examples
to leave
Wrong verb form
leaving
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UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
. In the meantime, other
people
also
 have many
consideration
Fix the agreement mistake
considerations
show examples
 to still stay in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
people
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of people
show examples
 about 43% had
tendency
Add an article
a tendency
the tendency
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 to live
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 because of the existence of their family and friends in
this
 place.
In addition
, the social life matter became the second reason for 21% of
people
 to keep their existence in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
. Folks
also
 considered
others factor
Fix the agreement mistake
other factors
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such
 as 15% for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
financial resources or employment and 11% for language.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, uk with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "stay" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Emigration
  • Immigration
  • Expat (expatriate)
  • Lifestyle
  • Migration
  • Demographics
  • Push factors
  • Pull factors
  • Job security
  • Health care system
  • Family ties
  • Career advancement
  • Socio-economic status
  • Cultural familiarity
  • Political climate
  • Economic conditions
What to do next:
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