IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The provider diagram shows the process of drinking water made from rainwater in Australian town

The provider diagram shows the process of drinking water made from rainwater in Australian town
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The provided diagram depicts the
process
Use synonyms
 of providing portable
water
Use synonyms
 by storing and treating rainwater in
Australian
Add an article
an Australian
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 town.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is
lengthy
Add an article
a lengthy
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process
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.
This
Linking Words
 purifying
process
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 includes several equipment
such
Linking Words
 as
water
Use synonyms
 filter storage tanks chemicals and so on. Rainfall is the starting point of
this
Linking Words
process
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. All terraces and roofs are connected with hollow pipes and as the rainfall occurs the
water
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 passes from these hollow pipes.
Then
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
water
Add an article
a water
the water
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 filter is used to remove some harmful substances from
Use synonyms
water
Correct article usage
the water
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.
The next step is
Linking Words
 storing filtered
water
Use synonyms
. As soon as the
process
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 of filtration
complete
Add a missing verb
is complete
show examples
 the
water
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 is allowed to fall in a huge storage
water
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tank
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. Here
water
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 is stored for
ample
Correct article usage
an ample
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 period of time.
The following step is
Linking Words
 treating the stored
water
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. Here,
water
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is allow
Change the verb form
is allowed
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 to flow to another
tank
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 from
storage
Correct article usage
the storage
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tank
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. In
this
Linking Words
tank
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, some chemicals are added
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
water
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 which makes rainwater portable.
Linking Words
Finally
Add a comma
Finally,
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 after some span treated
water
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 is passed to homes of citizens as drinkable
water
Use synonyms
.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words process, water, tank with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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