Because of falling birth rates and better healthcare, the world’s population is getting steadily older and this trend is going to cause serious problems for society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Nowadays human beings have issues with
the
Correct article usage
apply

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birth rates because of
Correct article usage
the improvement

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improvement
Fix the agreement mistake
improvements

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of
Change preposition
in

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healthcare and the amount of
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
population
Correct article usage
the population

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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getting older which can be an
ardeous
Correct your spelling
arduous

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problem for humanity.I agree with
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

statement to a maximum extent and my essay will elaborate on
this
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in the following paragraphs. In the first place
according to
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the statistics
in
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apply

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countries
such
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as Italy,France,
UK
Correct article usage
the UK

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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,
Japan
Correct word choice
and Japan

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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have
negative
Add an article
a negative
the negative

The noun phrase negative trend seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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trend
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of
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in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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population
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,which can
effect on
Verb problem
cause

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world economics to regress.
Moreover
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

in certain countries in Asia and
Europe
Add a comma
Europe,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase in certain countries in Asia and Europe. Consider adding a comma.

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there are stable
trend
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of getting older
population
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,which started approximately in 20 century because of wars in 1914-1918 and 1939-1945,respectively.
For instance
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in
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apply

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Russia,which is the biggest country in the world
population
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

number made up 150 million people in 2024,
while
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the numbers of
population
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

country in 1914 accounted for 145 million,which is an example
and
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of and

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influance
Correct your spelling
influence

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of wars in 20's century. Another reason is that human beings have
much
Fix the agreement mistake
many

It seems that much may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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more opportunities and ways to increase their lives,which can
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

effects
Verb problem
affect

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on
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apply

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population
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms
Use synonyms
trend
Fix the agreement mistake
trends

It seems that trend may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.
The another
Remove the article
Another

It is unlikely that your sentence needs the article The before another. Consider deleting the article.

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reason can be
childfree
Add an article
a childfree
the childfree

The noun phrase childfree trend seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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trend
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in North America and Europe in most
of
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apply

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cases,which
influance
Correct your spelling
influences

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specifically
on
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apply

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population
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

figures in modern days.
For
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

example
Add a comma
example,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase For example. Consider adding a comma.

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in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK

Your article usage with the geographic name UK may be incorrect.

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the amount of
population
Use synonyms

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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has

It seems that the verb have does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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gradually
fell
Change the verb form
fallen

It appears that the verb fell should be in the past participle form. Consider changing it.

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because of modern trends,which is
common
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a common

The noun phrase common issue seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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issue
for
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in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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european
Change the capitalization
European

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countries. It may be concluded from the essay that humanity
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has

It seems that the verb have does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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problems with
population
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,which should be one of the main issues for people.Hopefully
in
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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areas
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as Central Asia,Africa,
South
Correct word choice
and South

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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America have
posive
Correct your spelling
positive

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population
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms
Use synonyms
trend
Fix the agreement mistake
trends

It seems that trend may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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,which can be
great
Add an article
a great

The noun phrase great example seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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example for all humanity in the future.

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task achievement
In your introduction, clearly state your position on the given statement and provide a brief outline of the points you will discuss.
task achievement
Develop each of your body paragraphs with a clear main idea, followed by supporting details and examples that are directly related to the main idea.
coherence cohesion
Ensure logical sequencing of ideas and use a range of cohesive devices (linking words, pronouns, etc.) to enhance the flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion should summarise your main points and restate your position clearly. It should give a sense of closure to the reader.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea. This will help to keep the argument focused.
task achievement
Using specific examples and evidence will strengthen your argument. Always make sure to elaborate on how the examples support your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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