Because of falling birth rates and better healthcare, the world’s population is getting steadily older and this trend is going to cause serious problems for society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays human beings have issues with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
birth rates because of
Correct article usage
the improvement
show examples
improvement
Fix the agreement mistake
improvements
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
healthcare and the amount of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
getting older which can be an
ardeous
Correct your spelling
arduous
problem for humanity.I agree with
this
statement to a maximum extent and my essay will elaborate on
this
in the following paragraphs. In the first place
according to
the statistics
in
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apply
show examples
countries
such
as Italy,France,
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
,
Japan
Correct word choice
and Japan
show examples
have
negative
Add an article
a negative
the negative
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trend
of
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in
show examples
population
,which can
effect on
Verb problem
cause
show examples
world economics to regress.
Moreover
in certain countries in Asia and
Europe
Add a comma
Europe,
show examples
there are stable
trend
of getting older
population
,which started approximately in 20 century because of wars in 1914-1918 and 1939-1945,respectively.
For instance
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Russia,which is the biggest country in the world
population
number made up 150 million people in 2024,
while
the numbers of
population
of
this
country in 1914 accounted for 145 million,which is an example
and
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of and
show examples
influance
Correct your spelling
influence
of wars in 20's century. Another reason is that human beings have
much
Fix the agreement mistake
many
show examples
more opportunities and ways to increase their lives,which can
also
effects
Verb problem
affect
show examples
on
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apply
show examples
population
trend
Fix the agreement mistake
trends
show examples
.
The another
Remove the article
Another
show examples
reason can be
childfree
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a childfree
the childfree
show examples
trend
in North America and Europe in most
of
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apply
show examples
cases,which
influance
Correct your spelling
influences
specifically
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
population
figures in modern days.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
the amount of
population
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
gradually
fell
Change the verb form
fallen
show examples
because of modern trends,which is
common
Add an article
a common
show examples
issue
for
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in
show examples
european
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European
show examples
countries. It may be concluded from the essay that humanity
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
problems with
population
,which should be one of the main issues for people.Hopefully
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
areas
such
as Central Asia,Africa,
South
Correct word choice
and South
show examples
America have
posive
Correct your spelling
positive
population
trend
Fix the agreement mistake
trends
show examples
,which can be
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
example for all humanity in the future.
Submitted by kassymov_99 on

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task achievement
In your introduction, clearly state your position on the given statement and provide a brief outline of the points you will discuss.
task achievement
Develop each of your body paragraphs with a clear main idea, followed by supporting details and examples that are directly related to the main idea.
coherence cohesion
Ensure logical sequencing of ideas and use a range of cohesive devices (linking words, pronouns, etc.) to enhance the flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion should summarise your main points and restate your position clearly. It should give a sense of closure to the reader.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea. This will help to keep the argument focused.
task achievement
Using specific examples and evidence will strengthen your argument. Always make sure to elaborate on how the examples support your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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