IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

ost people don’t care enough about environmental issues. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

There have been a lot of critical concerns recently. One of the most important ones is environmental problems. It has been said that the majority of the population refuses to pay attention to these concerns. I disagree with
this
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 to a large extent, and I am going to elaborate on
this
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 in the following. It can be seen that global warming has affected all aspects of our
lives
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, and we cannot deny that many
people
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 know their
lives
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 might be influenced ultimately. In
this
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 situation, they prefer to stop the negative effects of climate change. They use different methods to protect the environment with the help of various activities, which are introduced by the governments. A lot of public transportation has been provided for
people
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.
Therefore
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, they are persuaded to use them
instead
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 of using their personal car to emit less CO2 to the atmosphere. Because of
this
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, they prevent air pollution and protect the environment.
Likewise
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,
people
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 are more aware of deforestation, which leads to a threat to biodiversity. In
this
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 way, not only are all types of creatures in danger, but
this
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 condition can
also
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 impact human health.
Subsequently
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, they cooperate in planting trees to compensate the deforestation and preserve the natural creatures.
Similarly
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, as there has been much bad news about decreasing natural resources, most
people
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 have been encouraged to manage their
lives
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according to
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 recent news.
For example
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, many
people
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 would rather recycle all the recyclable substances like paper, plastic, glass jars, and metal bottles.
Hence
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, these products return to the factories to be used again in different industries.
As a result
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, factories’ raw materials are ready, and there is no need for excessive use of natural resources.
Moreover
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,
people
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 try not to waste energy like water, electricity, and gas. Sometimes, they find alternative ways and bring renewable energy into their
lives
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 to cut down their consumption.
Consequently
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, more ecological resources will remain for the next generation. Despite all the discussion, some
people
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 don’t consider that the natural trend is related to human activities, and they don’t take positive action for that. But there are a lot of records which explain that human activities are closely linked to environmental issues, and we have to try to mitigate the effects, as many
people
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 do. In conclusion,
although
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 some
people
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 have
this
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 perspective that we don’t need to participate in environmental projects, the majority of the population make their effort to preserve nature.

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task response
You have a clear view that you do not fully agree with the idea. Keep the stance clear in each part of the essay.
coherence
Your ideas are not always fully linked. Use simple links to connect how one idea leads to the next.
coherence
Explain each point more. Give a little detail so the reader sees why it matters.
coherence
Some parts are too broad. Narrow down to one or two main ideas and give a strong example for each.
task response
You give good real examples of action. Try to add a direct tie to how this shows care for the issue.
structure
You show a clear view that you disagree with the idea.
content
You use real acts to show what people do to help, like recycling and travel choices.
structure
The essay has a start and end that plan the talk.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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