Many people are afraid to leave their homes because of the fear of crime. Some believe that more actions should be taken to prevent crime. Others feel that little can be done. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Nowadays human beings have issues with birth rates because of improvements in healthcare and the amount of the Russia,which is the biggest country in the world
population
getting older which can be an arduous problem for humanity.I agree with this
statement to a maximum extent and my essay will elaborate on this
in the following paragraphs.
In the first place according to
the statistics countries such
as Italy,France,the UK,and Japan have a negative trend
in population
,which can cause world economics to regress.Moreover
in certain countries in Asia and Europe, there are stable trend
of getting older population
,which started approximately in 20 century because of wars in 1914-1918 and 1939-1945,respectively.For instance
Add a comma
,
population
number made up 150 million people in 2024,while
the numbers of population
of this
country in 1914 accounted for 145 million,which is an example of and influence of wars in 20's century.
Another reason is that human beings have many more opportunities and ways to increase their lives,which can also
effects
Verb problem
affect
on
Change preposition
apply
population
trend
.Fix the agreement mistake
trends
The another
reason can be Remove the article
Another
childfree
Add an article
a childfree
the childfree
trend
in North America and Europe in most of
cases,which Change preposition
apply
influance
specifically Correct your spelling
influences
on
Change preposition
apply
population
figures in modern days.For
example
in Add a comma
example,
UK
the amount of Correct article usage
the UK
population
have
gradually Correct subject-verb agreement
has
fell
because of modern trends,which is Change the verb form
fallen
common
issue Add an article
a common
for
Change preposition
in
european
countries.
It may be concluded from the essay that humanity Change the capitalization
European
have
problems with Correct subject-verb agreement
has
population
,which should be one of the main issues for people.Hopefully in
areas Change preposition
apply
such
as Central Asia,Africa,South
America have Correct word choice
and South
posive
Correct your spelling
positive
population
trend
,which can be Fix the agreement mistake
trends
great
example for all humanity in the future.Add an article
a great
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task achievement
Ensure your essay directly addresses the given topic. The response seems to discuss the issue of population trends and birth rates, which is not relevant to the provided prompt concerning crime prevention. You should clearly present both sides of the argument related to crime prevention and then give your own opinion on the matter.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs supporting each view, and a conclusion that restates your opinion. The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion that are relevant to the subject of crime prevention. The structure should clearly differentiate between the views discussed and your personal stance.
coherence and cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples and explanations. While you provided some examples, make sure they are relevant to the topic of crime prevention. Expanding on why these examples are pertinent will strengthen your argument.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, reread the prompt to ensure you are on topic and covering the key points requested. Addressing the correct topic is essential for a high IELTS score.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.