Some people say tht now we can see films on our phones and tablts there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films, need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both· these,views and give your on .opinion.

There are two
opinion
Change to a plural noun
opinions
show examples
for
Change preposition
about
show examples
watching
films
. One of them is watching with
phones
and
tablts
Correct your spelling
tablets
, and
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
is needed
Wrong verb form
needs
show examples
to be seen in
cinema
Correct article usage
the cinema
show examples
. In the past,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
of
people
enjoyed
films
in
cinema
Correct article usage
the cinema
show examples
but
present
Change preposition
at present
show examples
most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
watch with
phones
or
tablts
Correct your spelling
tablets
tables
. My opinion is to look
films
Change preposition
at films
show examples
with
phones
and
tablts
Correct your spelling
tablets
because it has
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
of advantages.
First,
we can see the videos whenever and anywhere we want. Today, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
enjoy
looking
Verb problem
watching
show examples
films
when eating, playing or going somewhere. Using these electronic
divices
Correct your spelling
devices
allows us to watch what we want and not to be
distrubed
Correct your spelling
distracted
by place and time. And we can
easly
Correct your spelling
easily
recognize and share different
films
with
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
of
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
and
people
. But there are
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
of illegal sharing
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
websites that are
effecting
Correct your spelling
affecting
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the copyright.
On the other hand
, some
films
are needed
Wrong verb form
need
show examples
to be watched in
cinema
Add an article
the cinema
show examples
.
Present
Change preposition
At present
show examples
, many
technology
Change to a plural noun
technologies
show examples
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
been developed in the
moive
Correct your spelling
movie
area. So there are movies like 3D and 4D that are required to see at
cinema
Add an article
the cinema
show examples
which has the perfect
divise
Correct your spelling
device
and equipment.
In addition
,
cinema
Correct article usage
the cinema
show examples
also
provides
place
Add an article
a place
show examples
which
Correct word choice
where
show examples
family and friends can enjoy together not only watching videos. Inferred with
this
, watching the
films
in
cinema
makes
people
perfectly enjoy and
expreience
Correct your spelling
experience
the movie. There are
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
of
pors
Correct your spelling
pros
and cons with
this
subject. We can
have
Verb problem
be
show examples
confortable
Correct your spelling
comfortable
with no risk, watching with
phones
and
tablts
Correct your spelling
tablets
. But
also
, when we visit
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the
cinema
we
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
experience high
quailty
Correct your spelling
quality
moives
Correct your spelling
movies
with various feelings.
Submitted by chwkmkmn on

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coherence cohesion
The essay introduces the topic and attempts to discuss both views but could benefit from a clearer structure. Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea, followed by supporting details. This helps the reader follow your argument more easily.
coherence cohesion
There is a need to pay attention to accurate spelling and word choice - 'tablt' should be 'tablet', 'divices' should be 'devices', 'pors' should be 'pros', 'moive' should be 'movie', driven by consistent verb tenses and plural forms. Furthermore, avoid using 'lot of' repeatedly; consider synonyms or rephrasing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are distinct. The introduction could better set up the essay by clearly stating both sides of the argument, while the conclusion should summarise the discussed points and reiterate your opinion.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to back up your points. Rather than just stating that movies like 3D and 4D require a cinema, provide a specific example of a movie and how the cinema experience enhances it.
task achievement
Work on developing clear and comprehensive ideas throughout your essay. Each paragraph should contain one main idea that is well-explained and sufficiently developed. Avoid general statements and try to delve deeper into your reasoning.
task achievement
Ensure that you have responded to all parts of the task. Although you mention both views and give an opinion, consider discussing the reasons why people might prefer watching movies on phones or tablets and why others prefer cinemas in more depth.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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