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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The older generations tend to have very traditional idea about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

It
happened
Wrong verb form
happens
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 a lot when a younger person
struggled
Wrong verb form
struggles
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 in a situation and an
elder
Correct your spelling
older
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 one comes with
a
Correct article usage
apply
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new advice or method. It is undeniable that sometimes these methods work, but
young
Correct article usage
the young
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 generation usually
find
Change the verb form
finds
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 them boring and unpleasant.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it seems old
people
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’s sayings may not
acceptable
Add a missing verb
be acceptable
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 in
this
Linking Words
 modern era. Old experiences
,
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apply
show examples
 and traditions mean old knowledge and data that are not suitable for up-to-date
people
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’s
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
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. During recent years, new individuals may have new
character
Fix the agreement mistake
characters
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 and thoughts, so in
this
Linking Words
case
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case,
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 they can easily reject what an old person says.
For instance
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
 new modern world, if
people
Use synonyms
 ask
help
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for help
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 or advice
of
Change preposition
from
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 their parents about their marriage issue they may find their attitudes funny , or hilarious. Because, new couples have fresh thoughts and beliefs, so they will not endure any situation like their parents.
Additionally
Linking Words
, old
people
Use synonyms
 are more traditional than younger ones.
While
Linking Words
,
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apply
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 it seems some
of
Change preposition
apply
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traditions have been diminishing over
years
Correct article usage
the years
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especially
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, especially
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 among
younger
Add an article
the younger
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 generation.
This
Linking Words
 declination originates from accessing a massive amount of valid data throughout the Internet. So, it would be impossible for old
people
Use synonyms
 to persuade a young man or woman to act
how
Correct word choice
as
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 they have said.
For example
Linking Words
, traditional families would not let their young children
to
Change the verb form
apply
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live alone before their marriage.
Whereas
Linking Words
, now younger community have
an adequate valid information
Remove the article
adequate valid information
a piece of adequate valid information
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 about positive sides of it, like independency. In conclusion, we cannot neglect what old
people
Use synonyms
 are trying to provide to us, because occasionally their
thought
Fix the agreement mistake
thoughts
show examples
 work greatly. But, young ones should be able to distinguish between
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
old thoughts and new ones to make a decision.

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intro conclusion
Ensure introduction clearly presents the topic and your thesis statement. Aim to introduce the points you plan to discuss.
logical structure
Develop a clear logical structure with distinct paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph should address a single main point.
supported main points
Support main points with relevant examples or evidence. General statements should be substantiated.
complete response
Answer all parts of the prompt. State your position on the issue clearly, and ensure you address the extent to which you agree or disagree throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices and topic sentences effectively to maintain clarity and coherence throughout the essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
Make sure your ideas are well-developed and explained in depth, providing comprehensive insight into your perspectives on the topic.
relevant specific examples
Use specific, relevant examples to illustrate your points. These can include personal experiences, historical references, or recent studies.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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