Today, many people use the internet and smartphones to transfer money to friends, family, and businesses. Is this a positive or negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In today’s world, a number of

people

Use synonyms

rely on the

internet

Use synonyms

and

smartphone

Fix the agreement mistake

smartphones

show examples

to transfer

money

Use synonyms

to friends, family and businesses. In my opinion,

this

Linking Words

is a positive development because it is convenient, and it is not dangerous.

Firstly

Linking Words

, transferring

money

Use synonyms

by using the

internet

Use synonyms

and smartphones is more convenient .

In other words

Linking Words

, with technological development ,

people

Use synonyms

can have access to many bank apps easily, so they do not need to go to the banks directly to transfer their

money

Use synonyms

to other parties.

For example

Linking Words

, in Saudi Arabia,

people

Use synonyms

do not need to go to the common banks,

such

Linking Words

as Al-rajhi Bank because all the

transactions

Use synonyms

can be done at home easily, making

people

Use synonyms

feel comfortable avoiding the jams and hot weather.

Thus

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

will save their time and give them more opportunities to do their other businesses.

Secondly

Linking Words

, it is not dangerous.

That is

Linking Words

to say, when

people

Use synonyms

use the

internet

Use synonyms

and smartphones, they are not required to travel on dangerous roads and unsafe areas.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, most

people

Use synonyms

are afraid of being robbed, so having online

transactions

Use synonyms

is the best in

this

Linking Words

case.

For instance

Linking Words

, in China, the number of thieves around the banks has reduced significantly since

people

Use synonyms

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

started using bank apps because

people

Use synonyms

prefer to do their

transactions

Use synonyms

in their comfort zones.

As a result

Linking Words

, relying on technology has become a safe option to conduct daily

transactions

Use synonyms

To sum up

Linking Words

, I believe that transferring

money

Use synonyms

to friends, family and businesses by using

Use synonyms

Internet

Correct article usage

the Internet

show examples

and smartphones is a positive development

due to

Linking Words

its convenience and low risks

Replace the punctuation

...

show examples

If everyone relied on technology, it would help them have easy and save lives.

s_syedyWed Dec 25 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Consider adding a counterargument to acknowledge the potential negatives of using smartphones and the internet for money transfers and refute it. This will strengthen your position and provide a more thorough evaluation.

coherence cohesion

Ensure to slightly vary the vocabulary and phrasing to enhance readability and maintain engagement. For instance, instead of saying 'will save their time,' consider 'saves time' or 'conserves time.'

coherence cohesion

Your essay is well-organized and easy to follow, with clear introduction and conclusion that wraps up your argument neatly.

task achievement

You provided relevant examples from Saudi Arabia and China, which strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
These days many people have their own computeres and telephones, so it is quite easy for them to work at home. DOes working at home have more advantages or more disadvantages
Spreading technology is completely common through this generation and these days number of people have access to all sorts of technologies such as computers and phones. The function of this development is people are able to work from their homes and this occurrence has its own advantages and disadvantages. I will discuss both sides and give relevant examples.
4.5
band
organizing a large family celebration such as a wedding can often create problems. what are the possible problems and solutions?
For those with large family who are not too much close and have some problems with one another, organizing an important event, such as wedding, can be faced with too many problems. However, by some solutions and tricks they will be able to mange it well. In the following essay, I will discuss about the issues of this concern and how they could be solved.
7
band
TODAY, THERE IS MORE AND MORE COMPETITION FOR GETTIND INTO UNIVERSITY. iS THIS A POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT.
Nowadays, challenges for getting into university are rising day by day. Although by the way like this students will both try harder and be more educated, it can damage students' mental health.
8
band
In some companies, social skills are given priority over qualifications when screening their possible employees. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this situation. Provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
It goes without saying that communication skills play a crucial role in each occupation and job due to being the core quality of employees that are needed for a corporation's positive outcomes. It has been argued that when heads of companies search for potential workers, the main thing is how they find a common language with ordinary individuals in society. Personally, I think this tendency has both advantages and disadvantages, which will be explained in the following paragraphs.
7.5
band
Instructions Read the question below and write an opinion essay. Remember to write down a clear thesis statement followed by your essay plan. Only then attempt to write this essay. Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth rather than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To What extent do you agree or disagree?
In today’s society, the prominence of celebrities is often tied more to their wealth and glamour than their actual achievements. I agree to a considerable extent that this phenomenon sets a detrimental example for young people, who may prioritize superficial success over genuine accomplishments.

Today, many people use the internet and smartphones to transfer money to friends, family, and businesses. Is this a positive or negative development?

These days many people have their own computeres and telephones, so it is quite easy for them to work at home. DOes working at home have more advantages or more disadvantages

organizing a large family celebration such as a wedding can often create problems. what are the possible problems and solutions?

TODAY, THERE IS MORE AND MORE COMPETITION FOR GETTIND INTO UNIVERSITY. iS THIS A POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT.

In some companies, social skills are given priority over qualifications when screening their possible employees. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this situation. Provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.