There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Young people today are under pressure to do well at
school
Use synonyms
and go on to higher education
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
find a good job.
For
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
reason
Add a comma
reason,
show examples
many people think that
non academic
Add a hyphen
non-academic
show examples
subjects
Use synonyms
are
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
of time and that schools should only focus on more academic
subjects
Use synonyms
. I would disagree with
this
Linking Words
opinion and in
this
Linking Words
essay will explain why.
Firstly
Linking Words
there is a variety of
skills
Use synonyms
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
taught in
non academic
Add a hyphen
non-academic
show examples
subjects
Use synonyms
that are essential for living. A
school
Use synonyms
should not only
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
focus on academic areas but should give
children
Use synonyms
a range of
skills
Use synonyms
.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
children
Use synonyms
learn teamwork, discipline, leadership
skills
Use synonyms
and how to solve problems with
non academic
Add a hyphen
non-academic
show examples
subjects
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, not all
children
Use synonyms
want and need academic
subjects
Use synonyms
. It is not important for everybody to go
higher
Change preposition
to higher
show examples
education and have good
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
in
school
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. There are some
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
that teach
children
Use synonyms
to be more successful and find work easier.
Subjects
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such
Linking Words
like
Change preposition
as
show examples
cookery and woodwork will be good for some students and give possibilities for job opportunities as chefs or furniture makers,
for example
Linking Words
.
Finally
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
school
Add an article
the school
a school
show examples
can be very stressful and if all
subjects
Use synonyms
are only very academic
then
Linking Words
it is bad for
children
Use synonyms
.
Non academic
Add a hyphen
Non-academic
show examples
subjects
Use synonyms
like physical education and music reduce their stress better than only with academic
subjects
Use synonyms
. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
I argue that
non academic
Add a hyphen
non-academic
show examples
subjects
Use synonyms
are important because they can help
children
Use synonyms
learn
skills
Use synonyms
, find work and reduce stress. A
school
Use synonyms
should not only be
focus
Wrong verb form
focused
show examples
on academic success but teach lots of
skills
Use synonyms
to
children
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by nadillamntr on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pressure
  • succeed
  • academically
  • non-academic
  • physical education
  • cookery
  • school syllabus
  • concentrate
  • academic work
  • well-rounded
  • enhancement
  • practical skills
  • balanced education system
What to do next:
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