The best way for a government to prepare for the future is to invest in young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The nation's youths are an essential asset of the state. There is a claim that if governance wants to be better in the future, it should take care of its youths. I completely agree with
this
statement and the reasons behind my thought will be discussed in this
essay.
The first reason for this
agreement is that young people have a role as agents of change for a nation. It means that they become the center
of advancement for their own country. They are assessed more critically of existing social conditions, which strive to change so society can live in an ideal condition. Change the spelling
centre
For instance
, Indonesian college students are refused a new policy about the authority of the Anti-Corruption Agency, which some articles can restrict the agency in
carrying out its functions. If students do not complain about Change preposition
from
this
policy, it will result in corruption cases increasing. That is
one reason why new generations are bringing improvements to the regime.
Moreover
, young talents can boost the economic growth of the country. Study
from Oxford University Add an article
A study
The study
shown
that countries with a high portion of young men and women in their workforce tend to experience higher rates of economic development. Wrong verb form
shows
This
is because young men and women are typically more innovative and entrepeneurial
than older generations. They are more likely to start new businesses, which can create jobs and drive economic expansion. Correct your spelling
entrepreneurial
Hence
, governance should pay more attention for
Change preposition
to
growth
and development of adolescents, Correct article usage
the growth
such
as their health and education.
In conclusion, the state authorities have to invest more in young talents because they can bring changing
to the country's fate and economic success. I totally agree with Change the form of the verb
change
this
standpoint, considering the aforementioned causes.Submitted by helainhye2 on
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Coherence/Cohesion
Ensure that there is a clear thesis statement at the end of the introduction that outlines the main points you will discuss.
Coherence/Cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices effectively to structure the argument and create coherence.
Task Achievement
Expand on your examples by providing more detail, as they help to concretize your arguments.
Task Achievement
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that states the main idea.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
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