In many countries there is a problem with declining quality of air and water from both industry and construction. What measures could be taken to prevent this?
It is argued that in our era, the time of capitalism and modernism, our planet has been destroyed by the effects of the Industrial Revolution and its outcomes.
Furthermore
, we know that climate change and boiling oceans are real dangers for all species on the earth. Additionally
, a lot of articles and books have been published that tell us the only way is to control the level of carbon dioxide in our atmosphere.
Due to
the industrial revolution and changes in our use of fuels, a severe increase in the temperature of many countries and climates has occurred that causes much stress on our communities. For example
, extreme flooding that caused disasters in Pakistan in 2022, was like an alarm that showed us billions of people are in danger of natural disasters that are made by humans. Hence
, we should focus on the direct effects of the climate situation on our lives and control the private industries.
To illustrate, we can easily calculate the consequences of industry and construction on nature. For instance
, some scientists inform us about the level of carbon dioxide in the earth. In other words
, the professional groups of many universities have obvious samples of the clear effects of deforestation and the emission of toxic fumes in the atmosphere. Specifically, academic environmentalists say that the greenhouse effect causes the main destruction of our planet. so, we must not delay in actions that are needed for decreasing carbon dioxide and controlling construction by governments and authorities.
In conclusion, it is obvious that our societies are responsible for any adverse destruction in the climate, we know that the only way that is
accessible for us is the scientific path. We are supposed to take any urgent action that needs international cooperation.Submitted by Ramin1991 on
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Task Achievement
Make sure to directly address the prompt by focusing on suggested measures to prevent air and water pollution. While the background information provided is insightful, the essay lacks specific measures that could be implemented.
Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance coherence, consider linking your paragraphs more clearly by using transitional phrases that guide the reader through your argumentation.
Task Achievement
Incorporating more specific examples and case studies would further support your main points and strengthen your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Consider dividing your text into clearer paragraphs to enhance readability and structural coherence. Each paragraph should ideally focus on a single main idea.
Task Achievement
You successfully engage with the topic, demonstrating a strong awareness of environmental issues.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay establishes a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your discussion.
Coherence & Cohesion
You use a range of vocabulary and complex sentences to convey your ideas, which adds depth to your analysis.
