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Band 4

More and more prisons are being built to house the world's criminals, and many people believe long-term imprisonment is the answer to solving the crime problem. However, others feel that tr assistance is what is required. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#prisons #house #world #criminals #people #imprisonment #crime #tr #assistance
It is often argued that keeping the world's
criminals
 inside
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prison
 is the solution
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
crime
 throughout the world,
while
 some
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that proper
medication
 and psychological assistance play
vital
Add an article
a vital
show examples
 role
to resolve
Change preposition
in resolving
show examples
crime
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
.
Although
 sometimes
criminals
 may
put
Add a missing verb
be put
show examples
 in
prison
 to follow the
ruless
Correct your spelling
rules
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
I believe that with proper treatment and support by surrounding
this
 problem can be solved.
Long term
Add a hyphen
Long-term
show examples
 imprisonment always has
Correct article usage
a negetive
show examples
negetive
Correct your spelling
negative
 impact on human
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.Rather than making it a person helpful to become a good person,it always
impact
Change the verb form
impacts
show examples
 people in
bad
Change the article
a bad
show examples
 way.In case
criminal
Correct article usage
a criminal
show examples
 is kept in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prison
,
so that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
 it is mostly possible,that he/she may come in
incontact
Correct your spelling
contact
in contact
 with
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
criminals
,who have been in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prison
 for a longer time.In that,it is mostly possible that
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 behaviour got impacted by other prisoners which will make it impossible to come out from crimes.
Although
 ,
criminals
 conduct a
crime
 and if they will put in the
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
imparisonment
Correct your spelling
imprisonment
,
then
 the
socity
Correct your spelling
society
 will not accept
him
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 properly ,as the
criminak
Correct your spelling
criminal
passed
Verb problem
spent
show examples
 a long time
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
prison
Add an article
the prison
a prison
show examples
 with other
criminals
.As
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
they are not socially accepted,
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
 it is hard for them to come out from criminal acts rather
thay
Correct your spelling
they
 will continue doing
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 kind of
activities
. The most effective way to make a criminal out of
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 bad
activities
 is
medication
 and psychological assistance from
him
Correct pronoun usage
his
show examples
 family and society.If anyone involved themselves in criminal
activities
,
then
 without sending
then
Correct your spelling
them
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
prison
 it is better to consult with the criminal and make them understand
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the fault.It should be understood
such
Change preposition
in such
show examples
 a way that they feel guilty for their act.If
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 and
nearerone
Correct your spelling
nearer one
 including social organizations can make
criminal
Fix the agreement mistake
criminals
show examples
 understand,that because of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
criminal
activities
,what losses
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
 is facing.
Moreover
, it is the duty of every social organization that everyone in the society should not expend any negative thoughts on any criminal who will go through
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
rehabilitation.
On the other hand
,presently medical science has improved a lot of technology and various
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of
medication
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been invented to support mentally and physically.
For example
,we can
found
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
 a number of
rehave
Correct your spelling
have
center
Change to a plural noun
centers
show examples
,where
where
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
a number of
criminal
Change to a plural noun
criminals
show examples
 is kept for psychological treatment.
Overall
,the
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
 of
this
 type of
medication
 and psychological enters are satisfactory. To sum
,it
Change preposition
up,it
show examples
 can be said that,
instead
 of sending
criminals
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a long time
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 jail for their
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
,if we can make them
undersatand
Correct your spelling
understand
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
fault
Fix the agreement mistake
faults
show examples
 by supporting
psychologically
Correct pronoun usage
them psychologically
show examples
 and
undergoes through
Wrong verb form
undergoing
show examples
 proper medications
this
 problem can be eradicated easily.
Submitted by ashraftaukir on

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Structure
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Supporting Details
Expand on your main points with specific examples and ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea to enhance coherence.
Task Response
For a high score in task achievement, fully address all parts of the prompt, present a clear opinion, and support your position with relevant examples and explanations.
Grammar & Spelling
Check your essay for any grammatical errors or spelling mistakes, as these can significantly hinder the clarity of your communication.
Lexical Resource
Vary your sentence structures and use a wide range of vocabulary to convey your points more effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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