IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

International travel has many advantages to both travellers and country visitors. do you think advantages outweigh disadvantages

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There are many benefits to be gained from travelling abroad for tourists
as well as
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 the host country. I believe that
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 advantages far outweigh the potential disadvantages. On the positive side, tourists from other countries will experience exotic
cuisine
Fix the agreement mistake
cuisines
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 and cultures, and they get a chance to see places that they
never seen
Add the auxiliary verb
saw
have never seen
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 before. A typical example of
this
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 is when foreign visitors come to Indonesia, they have the opportunity to eat using bare hands,
savor
Change the spelling
savour
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 traditional meals, and visit the world's largest Buddha temple.
Moreover
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, the increasing amount of foreign visitors will have an impact on local businesses especially in tourism sectors, which increase the economic development of the host country and create
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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new jobs for local people. When the visitors are satisfied, it is possible to make them willing to come back again or recommend the destination to their relatives.
As a result
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,
the
Correct article usage
a
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 certain country is more
reowned
Correct your spelling
renowned
 with its destination.
Therefore
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, international travel provides benefits either for overseas guests or natives. On the negative side, first and foremost,
according to
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 the travellers
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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vacation
Wrong verb form
vacationing
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 abroad is more expensive, and several states have
stricted
Correct your spelling
strict
policy
Fix the agreement mistake
policies
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as well as
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 visa approval. Take
United
Correct article usage
the United
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 States
for instance
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; from ten people who submitted a visa approval, only half that approved, and
also
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, travellers should have a minimum of ten thousand dollars in their accounts. At the same time,
countries
Change preposition
in countries
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 that play as the host of international tourists, living costs for native residents would rise and detriment to a number of denizen guests.
However
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,
while
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this
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 pitfall exists, they are minor and can be carried out easily. In conclusion, having analyzed both the merits and demerits, I believe that
the
Remove the article
apply
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this
Linking Words
 view
gain
Correct subject-verb agreement
gains
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 more beneficial
outcome
Fix the agreement mistake
outcomes
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 rather than the negative consequence of the impacts on global touring.

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task achievement
Ensure that your supporting examples are specific and directly related to the main points. Include a wider variety of specific examples to substantiate your arguments more fully.
coherence cohesion
Work on the development of ideas throughout the essay, ensuring that each paragraph logically flows to the next. Use cohesive devices to improve the connection between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
To achieve a higher score, it's essential to delve into both sides of the argument with equal clarity. While it's clear that you favor the advantages of international travel, more balanced consideration of the disadvantages would enhance your overall task response.
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