IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Write a letter to a friend. You have borrowed something from your friend and it got damaged. Apologize for damaging product Explain what happened Say how are you going to fix the issue

#friend #product
Dear Misha Hope you are doing well and I am writing to apologize for damaging
your
Change the pronoun
the
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laptop
 that I borrowed from you
last
 weekend. I promise
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
you that I will fix the issue. I am very sorry for
this
 event and you just can't imagine how terrible I feel about it. I know your
laptop
 was new and you
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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received it for your birthday.
Last
 morning I worked on your
laptop
 and finished writing a long assignment. But after
that
Add a comma
that,
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 I
forgot
Verb problem
left
show examples
 your
laptop
 in the living room on the table.
Then
 my little brother came to
living
Add an article
the living
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 room to play
his
Change preposition
with his
show examples
 toys, he saw the
laptop
, pushed
hardly
Change the word
hard
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 on the keyboard and dropped it down. So that's why your gadget's keyboard
get
Change the verb form
gets
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broken. So, just give me a few days and I will take your
laptop
 to the electronic device repair shop and I can get it fixed
with
Change preposition
by
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 replacing
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 keyboard for your gadget. I hope you
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 not be so angry with me after that.
Your
Correct the word
Yours
show examples
 faithfully Pulat
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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task achievement
Task response could be improved by elaborating more on the circumstances, as well as offering a more concrete plan for compensation or repair of the damaged item.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, consider adding more linking words or phrases to connect ideas more smoothly, and ensure that each new idea starts with a new paragraph.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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