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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people are very strict about their school uniforms and the apprearance of their pupils, while other schools have a relaxed dress cod

#people #school #uniforms #apprearance #pupils #schools #dress #cod
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In
this
 modern era, it is increasingly common in most universities that
students
 can wear dress as per their comfort zone. Some schools are extremely strict about their uniforms, and they want children to follow them. In
this
 essay, I will explain the merits and demerits.
Firstly
, the first and foremost uniform builds a sense of confidence and pride.
Due to
this
, kids experience equality, and they can freely communicate with
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
other pupils.
Furthermore
, parents find it easier for them because it's not necessary for them to look for new clothes.
Moreover
, when children are wearing school
uniform
Fix the agreement mistake
uniforms
show examples
, they do not require any identification if they can see their appearance. Educational
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 are strict, and the main reason behind
this
 is that teachers are teaching them how they can present themselves.
For instance
, a recent survey
conduct
Wrong verb form
conducted
show examples
 by the school and most of the
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
 are in support that
students
 should have uniforms.
On the other hand
, some believe that if
students
 have dress codes, they can not present their current personality. Perhaps, even if they are bullying other kids, it will be difficult to identify their schools. In the future, these children will experience issues with coping with others because they are not disciplined.
Moreover
,
instead
 of going to classes, they are going to Rome around and no one can identify them.
For example
, in Asia, public schools,
students
 are bullied by the top
school's
Change noun form
school
show examples
students
, which leads to stress and anxiety.
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coherence cohesion
Make sure your introduction clearly states the topic and sets out the structure of the essay to guide the reader. Aim for a balance in presenting both sides of the discussion in an organized manner.
introduction conclusion
Develop a clear thesis statement in your introduction and provide a comprehensive conclusion that summarizes your main points.
task achievement
Support each main point with clear, relevant examples and explanations. Avoid vague statements that do not contribute to the argument.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each with a single main idea. Transition smoothly between ideas using appropriate linking words and phrases.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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