IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #climate #change
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Some individuals argue that it would be a great idea if we lived with
climate
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change
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 rather than try to control it. I strongly disagree with
this
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 point of view. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I shall elaborate on the reasons and discuss my opinion more. On the one hand, it is obvious that if the
climate
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 changes, we will face critical problems,
such
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 as global warming.
In other words
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, it would be a great consideration if we managed our climates. If we monitor it, we will be able to preserve our environment and species.
Moreover
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, it is crucial to maintain our planet for the next generation. It would be our responsibility to pay attention to how we will be able to decrease the consumption of fossil fuels.
For example
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, in the USA, the government prefers to protect endangered animals through supportive activities,
such
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 as the erection of dust filters for industries to inspect their pollution.
On the other hand
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, critics assume that we are not sensitive about our nature, as it will regenerate itself.
However
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, I strongly believe that we have to be worried about them in terms of destructive actions by humans.
Additionally
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, it is vital to consider protective actions through the educational system, since it will guarantee our prospects
due to
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 fresh air and avoid
climate
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.
For instance
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, in India, most teachers tend to teach their students how they will be able to preserve their nature through effective ways,
such
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 as controlling the use of plastic materials. Some people think that
instead
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 of preventing
climate
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change
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, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree? In conclusion, if we do not control
climate
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change
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, we will face a lot of issues.
Thus
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, it is essential to focus on how we will be able to preserve our environment. I strongly disagree that we have to live with
climate
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change
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. It is better to concentrate on disturbing objects.
Submitted by ali.pazoki72 on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear argument and is well-structured with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, some parts lack clarity and could benefit from further elaboration and support.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating smoother transitions between paragraphs to enhance the logical flow of the essay. Furthermore, try to expand explanations and provide more detailed examples to strengthen your arguments.
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear introduction that outlines your position and an effective conclusion that reinforces your argument. This helps in presenting a cohesive and well-rounded essay.
relevant specific examples
Your essay includes relevant examples which support the points made, helping to illustrate and back up your argument effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • climate change
  • prevent
  • adaptation
  • mitigation
  • cope with
  • effects
  • shift
  • mindset
  • lifestyle
  • balance
  • invest
  • research
  • technology
  • crucial
  • education
  • awareness
What to do next:
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