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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some parents prefer homeschooling their children rather than sending them to traditional schools. What are the advantages and disadvantages of homeschooling?

There are many paths of education for
children
Use synonyms
 nowadays. Some parents choose homeschooling over enrolling their kids to
schools
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will highlight
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
 and drawbacks of homeschooling. On the one hand, a homeschooling program has many benefits;one of them is to provide young boys and girls with a flexible curriculum and a wide range of lesson materials that they prefer to learn. There are no specific targets on how much kids should achieve as required in standard
schools
Use synonyms
'
syllabus
Fix the agreement mistake
syllabi
show examples
.
Assesment
Correct your spelling
Assessment
 given in homeschool is likely
formative
Correct quantifier usage
more formative
show examples
 than labelling students with a fail or pass result.
In addition
Linking Words
, most materials are designed to the young's preference.
For example
Linking Words
, if a teenager loves to learn social subjects more than numbers, the modules and exercises will be focused more
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 shaping his/her ability
in gaining
Change preposition
to gain
show examples
 knowledge in their
preffered
Correct your spelling
preferred
 area. As
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 result,
children
Use synonyms
 are given
freedom
Add an article
the freedom
show examples
 to study based on their interests.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, unlike what common
schools
Use synonyms
 have,
homeschooling's
Change noun form
homeschooling
show examples
 pupils lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
time to interact and socialise with their peers.
This
Linking Words
 is the
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
major disadvantage of
homeschool
Wrong verb form
homeschooling
show examples
 for
children
Use synonyms
 which might be a barrier
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their future.
For instance
Linking Words
, a homeschooling boy might struggle
in giving
Change preposition
to give
show examples
 and
accepting
Wrong verb form
accept
show examples
 arguments since he never
involves
Wrong verb form
involved
show examples
 in discussion-based learning. Another case is,
a
Correct word choice
that a
show examples
kid who learns privately at home can have difficulties in socializing and making new friends.
The homeschooling
Correct article usage
Homeschooling
show examples
 does not cover some soft skills that students need in the future, and the examples above can hinder them later ar their workplaces. In conclusion, homeschooling exists to fill the gaps
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
what
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 are missing in conservative
schools
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as the flexibility to choose lessons that
what
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they want.
However
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
 comes with some
hinderences
Correct your spelling
hindrances
such
Linking Words
 as
inability
Add an article
the inability
show examples
 of the program to facilitate
children
Use synonyms
 in
social
Add an article
the social
a social
show examples
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
show examples
.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and stick closely to that topic without digressing to maintain strong coherence.
coherence cohesion
Use more varied linking words and phrases to improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Support your main points with more specific and detailed examples to give the reader a better understanding of the arguments.
task achievement
Be careful with minor grammatical errors and pay attention to article use ('the young's preference' should be 'young learners' preferences'), subject-verb agreement, and preposition use.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • homeschooling
  • traditional school
  • parents
  • children
  • flexibility
  • scheduling
  • learn
  • subjects
  • interest
  • environment
  • bullying
  • negative influences
  • education
  • needs
  • learning styles
  • family bonding
  • values
  • beliefs
  • emphasize
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