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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#minutes #billions #telephone #uk #three #categories #information #features #comparisons
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The chart illustrates the total number of
minutes
Use synonyms
 in
billions
Use synonyms
 of telephone calls in the
UK
Use synonyms
 and
divided
Add a missing verb
is divided
show examples
 into three call categories which are local-fixed
line
Use synonyms
 , national and international-fixed
line
Use synonyms
 and mobiles( all calls ) from between 1995 and 2002 .
Overall
Linking Words
, the local-fixed
line
Use synonyms
 call type in the
UK
Use synonyms
 marked the higher number in
billions
Use synonyms
 compared to other call categories.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 since 1995
local-fixed
Correct word choice
the local
show examples
Use synonyms
line
Fix the agreement mistake
lines
show examples
grew
Wrong verb form
have grown
show examples
 considerably and reached
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 peak point at 90
minutes
Use synonyms
 in
billions
Use synonyms
 in 1999 but
begin
Wrong verb form
began
show examples
 to
dropped
Change the verb
drop
show examples
 and ended
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 72
minutes
Use synonyms
 in
billions
Use synonyms
 in 2002.Meanwhile, the national and
international-fixed
Correct your spelling
international fixed
show examples
Use synonyms
line
Fix the agreement mistake
lines
show examples
 in the
UK
Use synonyms
 showed positive trends and grew steadily since 1995 with started point at 38
minutes
Use synonyms
 in
billions
Use synonyms
 until reached
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 peak point at 62
minutes
Use synonyms
 in
billions
Use synonyms
 in 2002.
In addition
Linking Words
, in 1995 the mobile ( all calls ) in the
UK
Use synonyms
 started at the lower figure with 5
minutes
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
billions
Fix the agreement mistake
billion
show examples
 and slowly went up gradually to 48
minutes
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
billions
Fix the agreement mistake
billion
show examples
 in 2001 but slightly decreased in
Add an article
the figure
a figure
show examples
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
show examples
 in 2002 with 45
minutes
Use synonyms
 in
bilion
Correct your spelling
billion
.
Submitted by tifjong on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 86%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words minutes, billions, uk, line with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • telecommunications
  • landline
  • mobile phones
  • local calls
  • national and international calls
  • billion
  • minutes
  • growth
  • decrease
  • trend
  • fluctuate
  • overtake
  • peak
  • plummet
  • steady
  • significant
  • minor
  • chart
  • period
  • comparison
  • category
  • data
  • illustrate
  • reveal
  • indicate
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