A lot of money is spent on repairing old building. Instead of repairing old building that money should be spent on knocking down old building and building new ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is an ongoing
debat
about old-age Correct your spelling
debate
debit
buildings
and whether these construction
should be repaired or Change the determiner
this construction
these constructions
be
replaced with brand new Unnecessary verb
apply
buildings
. My perspective is, although
traditional constructions can evoke Correct word choice
that although
the
sense of nostalgia, building new Correct article usage
a
ones
can be more beneficial. The following paragraphs will diccuss
Correct your spelling
discuss
this
assertion.
To begin
with, new buildings
are more substantial for a sustainble
lifestyle. It has been considered that with technological advancements, new houses are Correct your spelling
sustainable
empowerd
with Correct your spelling
empowered
considrable
facilities which can pave the way for a suitable livelihood. Correct your spelling
considerable
This
means that by using divers
gadgets Correct your spelling
diverse
it
a building, it will get modernised and Correct your spelling
in
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
be
usefull
for a Correct your spelling
useful
quilified
facilitated life. Correct your spelling
qualified
For example
, many new constructions have the
Correct article usage
apply
centeral
heating and a significant electronic service which are not seen in old Correct your spelling
central
buildings
due to
unimproved technological devices. Therefor
, replacing the old Correct your spelling
Therefore
buildings
with brand new ones
can be remakebly
more beneficial.
Correct your spelling
remarkably
Moreover
, bulding
new houses and departments can be Correct your spelling
building
financialy
more effective.In fact, constructing new homes can be significantly more Correct your spelling
financially
cost effective
than Add a hyphen
cost-effective
re-newing
old Correct your spelling
renewing
ones
, which means by replacing old buildings
with new ones
, the amount of expenditure will get lessen
. Wrong verb form
lessened
This
can have numerous benefits for the
society and can be a way to cut down the expenses and have a Correct article usage
apply
considrable
budget. Correct your spelling
considerable
Thus
, the more old buildings
being
Wrong verb form
are
repalced
by new Correct your spelling
replaced
ones
instead
of repairing, the more amount of money can be saved. However
, this
matter requiers
strict regulations and supervision to prevent any Correct your spelling
requires
misslaeding
and damage.
In conclusion, my point of view is, Correct your spelling
misleading
eventhough
traditional Correct your spelling
even though
buildings
have the
nostalgic aspects, since building new constructions can not only be Correct article usage
apply
financialy
beneficial, but Correct your spelling
financially
also
it can boost the living condition
of residents, replacing old Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
ones
with new buildings
is more suitable.Submitted by imaneslampanahiep on
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coherence cohesion
It is evident that you have structured your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which assists in presenting your argument. However, to further improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that signals the main idea to the reader. Additionally, work on the logical flow of your arguments by using a range of cohesive devices effectively, such as conjunctions, pronouns, and transitional phrases.
task achievement
Your task achievement is generally good as you've addressed the prompt with a clear position. To elevate this, expand on your examples by providing more depth and specificity, as this will strengthen your argument. Avoid generalities and aim to discuss real-world examples or statistics that support your viewpoint to make your argument more persuasive and complete.
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