It is generally accepted that working part-time to earn money as a teenager is essential. While this activity may educate youngsters the basics of working and discipline, it can also affect their resting time. Thus, this essay will discuss both views.
Lately, a plethora of topics are being seriously talked about among various individuals and groups, and one prominent one is working part-
time
to earn Use synonyms
money
as a teenager is essential. Use synonyms
However
, some people believe that Linking Words
such
an activity may affect their resting Linking Words
time
. I firmly agree with the first statement Use synonyms
where
earning Correct word choice
that
money
as a Use synonyms
teenagers
is essential. Change the noun form
teenager
This
essay will discuss the Linking Words
debateable
issue.
First of all, being a part-timer teaches Correct your spelling
debatable
the
teenagers the importance of Correct article usage
apply
time
management. Use synonyms
Instead
of affecting their Linking Words
breaktime
, they should be able to arrange when is the right Correct your spelling
break time
time
to take some off Use synonyms
time
. Use synonyms
For instance
, if they Linking Words
had
school from 7 a.Wrong verb form
have
m
to 3 p.Use synonyms
m
and a job Use synonyms
at
6 p.Change preposition
from
m
to 8 Use synonyms
p.
Correct your spelling
p.m.
m
, they can organize their resting Use synonyms
time
in between or after their job. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, they can use Linking Words
this
knowledge when they get busier Linking Words
further
in life.
Second of all, they get to learn the importance of Linking Words
hardworks
to achieve what they want. If they always rely on their parents, they will find it hard when they get to live on their own. it will be difficult for them to balance things on their own if they learn how to do things too late. Correct your spelling
hard work
For example
, they may have some difficulties saving their Linking Words
money
for their needs. Use synonyms
This
could happen because Linking Words
they're not use
to Change the verb form
they're not used
they're not using
do
the Wrong verb form
doing
hardworks
in earning things.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
hard work
i
firmly believe that teenagers should learn ways to earn their own Change the capitalization
I
money
, mainly because it teaches them the Use synonyms
values
of living by themselves. Fix the agreement mistake
value
Hence
, they should learn Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
managements
and Fix the agreement mistake
management
hardworks
by working as a part-timer.Correct your spelling
hard work
hard works
Submitted by arrafiv on
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Coherence & Cohesion
The essay presents a clear stance on the topic and provides a logical progression of ideas. However, the organization could be improved by creating clearer paragraph divisions and making better use of linking words.
Task Achievement
The essay sufficiently addresses the task and presents some detailed ideas and examples. However, it could benefit from deeper analysis and a wider range of examples to support the points made.
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