It is generally accepted that working part-time to earn money as a teenager is essential. While this activity may educate youngsters the basics of working and discipline, it can also affect their resting time. Thus, this essay will discuss both views.
Lately, a plethora of topics are being seriously talked about among various individuals and groups, and one prominent one is working part-
time
to earn money
as a teenager is essential. However
, some people believe that such
an activity may affect their resting time
. I firmly agree with the first statement where
earning Correct word choice
that
money
as a teenagers
is essential. Change the noun form
teenager
This
essay will discuss the debateable
issue.
First of all, being a part-timer teaches Correct your spelling
debatable
the
teenagers the importance of Correct article usage
apply
time
management. Instead
of affecting their breaktime
, they should be able to arrange when is the right Correct your spelling
break time
time
to take some off time
. For instance
, if they had
school from 7 a.Wrong verb form
have
m
to 3 p.m
and a job at
6 p.Change preposition
from
m
to 8 p.
Correct your spelling
p.m.
m
, they can organize their resting time
in between or after their job. Furthermore
, they can use this
knowledge when they get busier further
in life.
Second of all, they get to learn the importance of hardworks
to achieve what they want. If they always rely on their parents, they will find it hard when they get to live on their own. it will be difficult for them to balance things on their own if they learn how to do things too late. Correct your spelling
hard work
For example
, they may have some difficulties saving their money
for their needs. This
could happen because they're not use
to Change the verb form
they're not used
they're not using
do
the Wrong verb form
doing
hardworks
in earning things.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
hard work
i
firmly believe that teenagers should learn ways to earn their own Change the capitalization
I
money
, mainly because it teaches them the values
of living by themselves. Fix the agreement mistake
value
Hence
, they should learn the
Correct article usage
apply
managements
and Fix the agreement mistake
management
hardworks
by working as a part-timer.Correct your spelling
hard work
hard works
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Coherence & Cohesion
The essay presents a clear stance on the topic and provides a logical progression of ideas. However, the organization could be improved by creating clearer paragraph divisions and making better use of linking words.
Task Achievement
The essay sufficiently addresses the task and presents some detailed ideas and examples. However, it could benefit from deeper analysis and a wider range of examples to support the points made.
Your opinion
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