Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.Do you agree or disagree?
Sugar
is one of the food ingredients that always include
in food or drink Wrong verb form
included
products
and many products
contain higher sugar
that
unhealthy. Some argue that Correct word choice
than
sugar
productions
should Fix the agreement mistake
production
more
costly to reduce daily Add a missing verb
be more
sugar
consumption. I totally agree with this
given statement and the reasons behind my though
will be discussed in Correct your spelling
thought
this
essay.
To begin
with, consuming sugar
more than daily
intake needed is bad for living beings. A study from Oxford University shows that 70% of young adults Correct article usage
the daily
suffering
from diabetes because Wrong verb form
suffer
consuming
sweet drinks each day. Actually, Change preposition
of consuming
Human
body only Correct article usage
the Human
require
10 milliliter Change the verb form
requires
glucose
Change preposition
of glucose
everyday
, Replace the word
every day
according to
an article from WHO. Sugar
can inhibit nutrition absorption while
people consume it in large Correct word choice
when
quantity
before the stomach Fix the agreement mistake
quantities
digest
other foods. Correct subject-verb agreement
digests
For example
, my five years
old's nephew Fix the agreement mistake
year
suffering
from obesity because she always Wrong verb form
suffers
eat
chocolate pancakes for her breakfast. Change the verb form
eats
That is
why excess sugar
is not good for health.
Moreover
, the government should take responsibility for this
phenomenon because manufactures
can produce Correct your spelling
manufacturers
products
depend
on the government policy. When the state authorities make boundaries about Wrong verb form
depending
maximum
Add an article
the maximum
sugar
content in food and drink products
, it can reduce the daily colinsumption
of Correct your spelling
consumption
sugar
in society. Take Singapore for instance
, the commercial drinks there have health label levels so it makes easier
for consumers to Correct pronoun usage
it easier
chose
.
In conclusion, some people believe that Wrong verb form
choose
increase
the price of Wrong verb form
increasing
sugar
is effective to reduce
Change preposition
in reducing
society to
Change preposition
society's
consume
less Replace the word
consumption
sugar
because sugar
is bad for health, however
, the state should be intefered
in Correct your spelling
involved
sugar
productions
. I totally agree with Fix the agreement mistake
production
this
view, considering the aforementioned causes.Submitted by helainhye2 on
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introduction conclusion present
Ensure you have a clear introduction that paraphrases the question and presents your view. The conclusion also needs to restate your main points and opinion succinctly to impact the reader.
supported main points
Develop your main points with clear examples and explanations. Ensure each paragraph has one main idea and provide more detailed evidence to support your arguments, avoiding overly general statements.
complete response
Address all parts of the task by discussing both sides of the argument, your own view, and providing more specific examples. Make sure the essay answers the question directly and comprehensively.
logical structure
Work on structuring your essay with a clear logical flow. Use connecting words to link sentences and paragraphs, and organize your thoughts into a more digestible format.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify and expand your ideas for the reader. Rather than making generalized statements, delve deeper into the implications of high sugar consumption and how pricing could influence behaviour.
relevant specific examples
When giving examples, ensure they are relevant and specific to the argument. For instance, when mentioning studies, give specific data or findings rather than summarizing broadly.